After the Storm--Fridget--
by ecostudent
Summary: A dark Fridget fanfic set directly after Franky's release. Very small teaser, turned full continuing story! Trials and tribulations of Fridget and some RUSH crossover with Stella D'agostino
1. Chapter 1

Franky Doyle- Dark Fridget Fic

I could hear sirens buzzing outside the window and it terrified me out of a dead sleep. I was dizzy in a way that I hadn't felt since I saw my dad in prison, in a haze I was so familiar with, my stomach turned hard against my skin. I lay in my strange bed wrapped so tightly in the sheets that I could hear my heart pounding against the walls of my chest. I crawled myself out of the blankets to the bathroom. My knees cold on the hardwood floors. I fell so quickly in front of the toilet that I nearly gave myself whiplash but I knew the rhythm of what came next and that was sickeningly comforting in the midst of all the change around me. I wretched loudly vomiting my fears and confusion as dawn was barely creeping through the windowsill. happy to be alone in my misery but only for a moment before I heard her sweeping through the hallway, floor boards creaking as she tiptoed. I wiped my mouth and the sweat from my brow thinking I could recover in time, but I hurled myself forward just as fast to continue my purge completely out of my control. It didn't matter to her, somehow, my brokenness was all she knew anyway.

"Franky? Are you alright babe?" She hollered into the bathroom door. She didn't stop to knock but softly pried the door. I looked up slowly and gave her a thumbs up.

"Yeah Gidge, having a fucking party in here you don't know what you're missing..." I snarked back roughly to hide my fragile state but she paid no mind to my facade.

"Here." She said putting a glass of water next to me on the floor.

"Thanks..." I said much more gently than before. "You can go now." I said shooting her a defensive glare.

"No I can't Francesca. Please, it's me cut the fucking act." She looked me up and down sternly before holding my hair back. "I'm staying until you're ready to come back to bed."

I softened, and let my body go limp against her remembering why I let this woman take me home with her, why I was letting her teach me to trust, even if I was certain that wasn't possible.


	2. Chapter 2

"Stop it! Fucking stop it! Don't touch me!" I could hear the screaming in my head but I barely recognized who it was or where it was coming from. I could feel sweat dripping down the back of my neck. My eyes were firmly closed and I felt paralyzed and scared to open them.

"Franky, Franky, shh babe its okay." Her voice was soft against my cheeks. I could feel her smoothing my hair down and lightly rubbing my back, something that should have been comforting but I truly distrusted touch unless I was controlling it. I came to quickly, realizing it was Bridget and slowly I remembered I lived with her now but sleep has a strange way of bringing you to places you've been long ago whether you like it or not. It wasn't long before my smart mouth was back in its rightful place either and Bridget's face displayed how eager she was to hear it.

"Had to wake me up just to touch me hey? You know, I know we're pretty fucking hot and typically I'm up to pleasing you whenever ya fancy but I kind of need to actually be awake first! It's a little thing I like to call consent." I flashed her a quick smirk but I could tell by her facial expression that she was both relieved and concerned with me. "What?" I fained.

"Franky, we are still in the bathroom. It's 6 thirty on a Monday morning."

"W-wait why are you talking to me like there's something wrong with me. Do you think I'm fucking mental this morning? I know my girlfriend is a psych and all but..." She didn't let me finish before lifting my chin up so we met eye to eye and wiping my mouth for me. I felt my lip lift in a slow , soft tick. I quivered a bit at her touch. I was so confused at what was going on but I was not prepared to tell her that.

"You fell asleep in my lap and I didn't want to move you but my leg was going numb and I wanted to get you cleaned up. But I obviously stirred you in your dream because when I touched you you screamed at me. "

"Oh, you don't like that hey?" I winked at her trying to lighten the mood.

"Not in this context. Sorry." I felt instantly shut down. None of my usual smart-ass rhetoric seemed to work on Gidget and I think maybe that's why I like her so much, she's a challenge for me. But, I still had some serious issues with being disengaged so easily. I flicked my tongue between my teeth in a repetitive motion and looked at Bridget. She looked soft and concerned, something I was truly not used to experiencing. I felt tears pool in my eyes.

"Please take me back to bed and let me sleep awhile Gidge, I'm not ready for this day yet..."

"Of course Franky." She said helping me to my feet. My body was stinging from the position I had passed out in but at least I could feel something...


	3. Chapter 3

She was lighter than I thought, and far more willing to let me lift her than I expected. With her hair and arms draped over my shoulders I walked her the length of the hall to my bedroom, our bedroom? I placed her down softly on my duvet comforter and looked her over. She was a sloppy excuse for the cocky woman I fell in love with, but I truly did expect that as soon as I knew I wanted to be the one to pick her up. I knew she'd be more broken, more reluctant to trust and to love because she would maybe never be able to feel she deserved it. But I wanted to try so badly because when I looked at her, I saw the pain in her sea green eyes but I also saw a spark and I wanted so much to let her ignite in some sort of productive, less self-sabotaging way. I was ready to try anyways.

She looked so calm, something I wasn't used to seeing. I reached out and brushed my hand over her lips, and then her cheek as softly as I knew how. There was no visceral reaction, no lift to her ripped, bitten lips . No tongue out to the side of her mouth. Nothing but sweetly sleeping Francesca, and I knew I needed more of that trust, more of that calmness and so did she.

I untied her rat-tail gently and lifted her shirt over her head. She stirred lightly fluttering her thumb and index slowly a partial stim that made me aware she had noticed my presence but she wanted to be taken care of and so she let it happen. And then I saw them, the marks of pain scarred all over her abdomen. A childhood literally burned away and yet, so beautifully masked as a cherry blossom tree. I couldn't help but pull her into my lap to hold her as tightly as she would allow. And she now semi-aware of what was going on around her opened her eyes and really looked at me.

"Gidge, I'm sorry I never warned you about my burns, and h-how bad they are yeah? I just didn't want to freak you out. And since I knew you'd read my file I figured you kind of knew... Plus I didn't expect you to start undressing me right away..." I looked at her deeply as I held my finger to her lips hoping to silence her inherent banter. She surprised me by being silent when I expected her to start running her mouth and instead just looked at me expectantly slightly smirking.

"You're awfully quiet now Franky..." I said looking at her searching her eyes for something that would help me read her as well as I made it seem like I could.

"I'm waiting for your speech about how I need to talk out my fears with you and stop the nightmares, and the vomiting that's likely to continue past this week." She said looking so beautifully smug I couldn't help but smile down at her.

"Okay, why the sudden change of heart?"

"Wha'dya mean?" She flicked the words off the tips of her teeth chewing the left side of her lip slightly and almost playfully?

"I thought you didn't do talking?"

"I don't." She spat before rolling me onto my back in one swift motion. I moved my lips to speak but her sweaty, slender hands cupped my mouth before I could do anything about it.

"Lets talk it through Gidge. I'll do the talking for you, hey?..."


	4. Chapter 4

-Thank you so much for the wonderful reviews! Keep them coming I'm reading them all and working off them-

Her eyes were bold and un-moving as she eyed me beneath her. Slowly she released her hand from my mouth , now with her tongue between her teeth to the right side of her lips, and then in my mouth for a brief second leaving me breathless and aching for more. she knew it too because she chuckled.

"My turn to do the talking hey?" She laughed. "I want to teach you a different way to work through your pain Gidge. That alright?" She asked but there was no breath between her words to wait for my consent. She was violently rifling the buttons undone on my blouse rocking slightly in and out with each one she unlooped.

"You're crossing your legs again babe. Ya know I'm gonna fix that aye?" She roughly knocked my feet apart until they were firmly planted on the ground spread out and I still on my back. I heard myself gasp loudly. I subconsciously covered my own mouth and she laughed again.

"Awww don't do that bub, I like to hear praise sometimes." She winked playfully before pulling me to sitting and joining me in my lap. We locked eyes dangerously and I put my fingers through her hair gently so as not to scare her because I had yet to touch her back. She bit her lips firmly before plunging her tongue into my mouth. She tasted like peaches and ash and I'd never felt such a tantalizing feeling hit my mouth. I felt myself shake at her touch before circling her right nipple through her t-shirt.

"Mmmm" She moaned before roughly thrusting my hands over both her breasts. I took the invitation and worked my fingers in circles around her young, erect nipples. She looked enthralled with me. She was bouncing slightly still biting her lip but much more pronounced and I gripped her hips for fear she'd bounce me off her lap.

"You are so beautiful Franky." I said touching her cheek. Instantly I regretted it, all at once I was thrust from her lover back into her therapist analyzing every thing she did following that statement. Her face scrunched at my touch and she pushed herself off of my lap and sat beside me with tears beginning to roll down her cheeks and anger in her eyes.

"Nup. You can't say that. You don't get to say that." She was cross and hurt.

"But, Franky I."

"Nup! Get out. Please Just leave me alone."

"Franky, I don't..." I was quickly cut off. She moved forward and leaned into me. Intimidating me.

"Bridget. Get. The Fuck. Out!" She hollered nearly panting now with her tongue bit so tightly I swore she'd start bleeding. I touched her shoulder gently and left the room.


	5. Chapter 5

She watched my every move closely as I ordered her out of the room. I watched her calculate me, label me and literally box me in. But, out of love and that helped slightly. She touched my arm gently as she left and closed the door. I winced at the warmth of her hand on my bare shoulder. she over analyzed me, over stepped me, and had I the energy I would have returned the favour promptly but I had no idea what to do with myself let alone her. So I completely spazzed out. I knew it wasn't wise in my therapist turned lover's home but I was so past caring that I did it anyways.

I threw my fists hard at the wooden bedroom door repeatedly expecting her to protest from the other room, but it was silent which pissed me off more. I resented her composure in the moment. My skin broke quickly and I watched my knuckles mark up her door with crimson paint. My hands hit the wood so hard I thought for sure I would crack right through to the other room. I surely would have too had she not opened the door sending me falling backwards to the floor beneath me merely 2 minutes later.

"Fuck." I spattered landing hard on my arse. I was panting hard between sobs and nearly drooling from my fits of anger. I wiped my mouth and nose roughly with my hand.

"Franky." She spoke so softly as she sat down beside me on the floor. I held my hands under my armpits so she wouldn't fuss over the blood but it was streaked all down my arms and chest anyways. She carefully tilted my chin to her eye level. I blew air out slowly and moved my fringe to the side.

"Gidget." I mocked trying to return my cheeky charm. She looked at me painfully, like she too was deeply hurting. Then I realized why. She had called me beautiful and I got mad...

"Franky, I think we may need to keep some personal distance for a few days while you get used to being out and stabilize a bit. I will set up the guest bedroom for you until you feel more like yourself."

"Myself!? Bridget I fucking am meself. My angry, fucking basket case self. Think about what you signed up for next time maybe -hey?!" I stormed into the bathroom gathering my clothes from the floor.

My mind was still spinning as I paced the bathroom with my hands above my head. I could feel my face muscles twitch rhythmically as I tried to figure out how I was going to clean up my hands without knowing where anything was. There she was again hovering in the door way. I thought about telling her off again but I was so exhausted I just mouthed _what_?.

"Fucking hell Franky look at them. They're ripped to shit." She said holding out my hands. My face shrugged with my shoulders.

"Like I've said before, there's pleasure in pain Gidget." I laughed far more nervously than intended.

"I'd rather you learn softer pleasures Franks..." She said sweetly. But I shivered at her choice of pet name.

"Please don't call me that..." I was plain and to the point.

"Okay Franky. Whatever you need." She didn't ask questions which I respected. She was sincere and she gave a shit. I relaxed a little as she cleaned my hands.


	6. Chapter 6

7 Days, 12 hours 37 minutes after I left Wentworth I was finally starting to feel safe. I sat beside Gidget on the black leather couch in her classy sitting room drinking green tea. I smiled softly in her direction and traced her lips lightly with my fingers. Her eyes were so deep and blue and full of love for me, and I was really starting to like how that felt. My delusions were getting more and more positive and I barely jumped when she touched me. I felt like a new person, and this was going to be my week. This was going to be the beginning of my recovery and I was thrilled to share it with Miss Bridget Westfall.

"Franky, do you think I could pull of a butterfly tat?" Bridget said as she moved in closer to me.

"Yeh, of course bub! You want one?" I said playfully licking my lips. She nodded somewhat shyly.

"Yes I do Franky, on my right foot." She smiled and shifted in her seat as though she could feel the smile rising on my cheeks.

"I'm a bad influence yeah? But I do love the idea of you inked up." I pulled on my plait roughly as I spoke and warmth touched my inner thighs. I bit my bottom lip hard before pulling her into my lap.

"Well, hello Francesca nice to see you're feeling more like yourself today." She said winking before she firmly crossed her legs. I was thoroughly turned on. My eyes darted back and forth with my tongue as I un-tied her pony tail and ran my fingers through her hair and down her neck. She shivered and joined me in biting her lip. I carefully caressed her, bouncing slightly in my seat. She took her hands and cupped my breasts making large circles around my nipples through the fabric of my t-shirt. I laidback against the couch and unbuttoned her thin white blouse, working my tongue up and down her chest and kissing her naval. She nearly whimpered as she watched me, tugging at my braid as I went. I enjoyed the sting and felt wetness pool in my satin boxers.

"Fr-Franky we're going to stick to this couch... its awful on bare skin." I laughed audibly louder than necessary.

"Wow, never fucked on leather Gidge? Aren't you in for a treat!" I pushed her back hard against the leather undressing her with my teeth alone. She watched me with what seemed like amazement and I felt my dimples find their place on my cheeks. I crawled myself to the hardwood floor beneath her and slipped off her lace panties almost rough enough to rip them. Her skin prickled with goosebumps and I felt her tug at my bra and remove it in the midst of my tongue darting in and out of her smooth, warm center. She was an easy fuck, which was satisfying in every way I thought it would be. I felt her shudder to the tune of 3 shaking orgasms before surfacing to wipe my mouth and catch my breath. I sat up and crawled into her lap, my knees beet red and my lips numb but a smile firmly spread across my face.

"Okay, y-your turn she said." As she threw me back against the black, now sweaty leather and nearly leapt on top of me. I yelped in pure pleasure as my mind raced with thoughts of how much my life was about to change for the better.


	7. Chapter 7

She was so still. Her hands and her face soft and subtle while she slept. Her long, straight hair fell around the pillow and framed her boney face and her eyes free of makeup fluttered in REM. She looked as though the stress of life on the outside was starting to age her but she was so beautiful whether she was keen to be told or not. The sound of her light smoker's snore was all I could hear besides the morning birds and traffic and I was content with that. It was a familiar comfort that I had gotten used to in the past month, and though she was volatile and at times even dangerous to me I continued to go against my better judgement and I fell more and more in love with her everyday. The Psychologist side of me knew she had so far to go and so much ground to fall flat on her face but I was incredibly hopeful.

The clock read 6:23am and I knew I was minutes away from having to get up for work and leave her alone for the very first time. We both knew it was coming, I had taken a 4 week leave when I picked her up from Wentworth to help the both of us adjust and get her on her feet, but honestly I never realized just how hard it was going to be to leave. If I was being truly honest with myself, I was also pretty scared of what she'd do when left to her own devices...

I cupped her face in my hands and grazed her adorable little ears with my fingertips. A smile spread across my cheeks as she started to stir. Her wakefulness started in her lips as they twisted at the corners and she licked them lightly. I watched her eyes flutter open as she rolled onto her side and pulled me into a spooning position.

"Oy, mighty early isn't it Bub?" Franky said in her raspy morning voice.

"Not for those of us living by 'The Man's' time." I said sarcastically wishing just as much as she was that I could stay warm with her in bed until our bodies ached for coffee and she for her morning ciggy. I sat at the edge of the bed and started slipping off my clothes so I could jump into the shower.

"Gidge?"

"Yeah babe?" I hollered back as I strode toward our ensuite.

"Can you help me write up a resume and cover letter after work? I don't want my future employers focusing on anything but my skills in law and I think you could help me highlight my best assets." She was so soft spoken, shy almost as she said it. I was truthfully taken aback by how soft she seemed but I answered warmly.

"Of course Franky, I want you to succeed at this! Plus you're gonna make a shit hot lawyer." I winked in her direction from the bathroom doorway. She was quiet as I jumped into the shower. The hot water hit my shoulders and I closed my eyes as I thought about going back to work and what she'd be doing while I was gone. She came in so quietly, mouse-like in her soft steps. I didn't even realize she had come in until I felt her tiny hands reach around my waist. She came in un-invited but without typical Francesca intent. She was still and she held me as the water wet her hair causing her braid to begin unraveling.

"I'm gonna miss yah. " I said as I washed my hair.

"Ahh don't do that Gidge I'd love a day with dry eyes for the both of us." She said playfully as she too started to wash her hair.

"I'm sorry Franky, it's just the truth. I love my job but I love you too..." I had never told her that, but I felt the timing was right. She brushed it off though as if she had heard it everyday I don't know why I thought she'd act any differently, her front was far too strong, now more than ever.

"Aye you're such a big sook aren't yuh? Here let me get your back." I let her wash every bend of my torso before finishing up and stepping out to towel off. She lingered a few moments longer to shave and rinse herself off before joining me to compete for the mirror and apply makeup. It was nearly 7am by this point and I knew I didn't have time to dawdle. I threw on my nicest pin-stripe suit and pulled my hair into a high pony tail. Franky thrust herself into a tight pair of black jeans and a black cotton t-shirt sans bra. I eyed her as I boiled water for tea and scarfed down a bowl of cereal.

The kettle screeched its finish as she got close to it, like everything else she got close to... She pulled it off the stove and poured me a green tea gingerly placing her lips on the rim of travel cup and leaving the scent of her behind.

"A kiss for the road. I hope you taste me all the way to work Gidget." She sang out as her eyes darted between me and the cup in her hands. I smiled admirably before kissing her tenderly on the forehead and then the lips. She held me hard against her so I could feel her free breasts beneath her shirt. I knew it was purposeful as she swayed side to side still holding me tight.

"Okay Franky, I really have to go!" I slipped away from her tingling from my toes to my blushing cheeks and slipped on my shoes. She helped me into my coat and stared me down like a puppy dog. I blew her a kiss as I left the house and she hung in the door way until I got to my car before closing it with a forceful bang. I was off unsure what to expect with my return to work and even less sure what I was coming home to at the end of the day...


	8. Chapter 8

Lots more to come everybody! Thank you so much for the fantastic reviews! Please keep the feedback coming and I will gladly keep writing. Throw any ideas you have my way and I will try to work them in. How will Franky cope through her first days on her own?

The house was so still. I walked the hallways by our bedroom about 7 times before I even realized I was pacing. My inner lip stung from involuntary biting and my hands writhed with fear of being truly alone. I turned on every light in the house because it was such a dark morning and slumped myself on the black leather couch by the fire. I flicked through the home improvement magazines on the coffee table and un-tied and re-tied my plait 3 times. I sat back as far as I could looking at the ceiling. Not deep in thought, not ready to take on the world, not content but numb. I always hated that feeling because I physically ached to fill it, to feel something outside the nothingness ringing hard against my ears. My head filled with the desire to hit something, or tattoo the lengths of my body by hand right here by the fire... I shook the thoughts away roughly feeling my hair whip my cheeks before getting up to find my rolling papers.

Bridget was pristine. Everything had a place which meant I had to rifle through both drawers in our nightstand before pulling out my rolling papers and tabacco knocking over a bottle of lube all over half of them in the process and finding half a bud of weed in purple drawstring bag. It was all I could smell when I opened the drawer and I was so taken back that I didn't even bother to wipe up the lube. I fumbled the tiny bag in my oily fingers as I thought.

Bridget you sick bitch! I knew there was a reason I liked you. Ha! If only she was here too... Mmm the thought of her an I high together sipping Captain Morgan by the fire in nothing but our undies binge watching OITNB... Fucking eh! Actually... she'd be having wine lets be honest here... I heard myself laugh out loud bat the thought. Dimples indenting my cheeks.

I was so lost in my thoughts after discovering Bridget's little stash I had almost forgotten what I came in for. I took everything to the kitchen and against my better judgement rolled it on the white marble counter top. I rolled the weed, and tobacco in tightly before stepping onto the front porch to smoke away the numbness, or add to it I honestly wasn't sure.

The neighbourhood was quaint and quiet, so different from where I had lived before I went to Wentworth it was so foreign and calm to me. I watched a flock of Cockies grazing on the lawn while I puffed my stress away. I felt a smile creep up onto my cheeks as I pictured up-tight little Gidge getting stoned, I knew I had to see that one of these days. I got lost in my thoughts until I nearly burned my fingers on my ciggy. I liked the heat as it hit my fingers and let it linger there long enough to smell it singe them but not long enough to bubble my skin. I didn't need Bridget worrying on her first day back to work. I could keep it together I just needed to find something to do... I flicked out the last of my cigarette and sauntered inside. The clock in the kitchen read 8:43am... I slumped myself against the wall and threw my hands above my head. Banging it lightly as I realized I had no idea what to do with my time.

I opened the fridge and grabbed a glass deciding that in my current state of mind it wasn't too early to have a date with the Captain. I poured a hearty helping and threw myself on the couch before turning on the L Word and beginning my binge... It was 9:13am.


	9. Chapter 9

I woke to screaming in my ears and for a moment I lay very still afraid to move. My body felt heavy as I realized I was on the couch drenched in sweat. The house was quiet and still and suddenly I knew the screaming had been me. I let my eyes fall open and wiped the drool from my mouth. My head was pounding and my rib cage seemed to have a searing burning sensation. I moved to the edge of the couch sitting up and turning off the tele. I noted the 1/2 empty bottle of rum and figured I had probably passed out. I coughed hard against my chest certain my binge had excused me to chain smoke and I was filled with a gnawing hunger but I had no idea why...

Trailing my fingers down each notch of my ribs I found the source of the pain. It was rough and hot to the touch, raised, round, and a beautiful shade of pink. Another bloom on my cherry blossom tree. Only this time, I had made the addition... The feeling was far too familiar and the smell nauseated me. I retched and ran for the kitchen sink tasting the acid of rum in my nostrils. I ran the water hastily and splashed it on my face. I felt faint and clammy.

 _Fuck Gidge where are you. What time is it? Hey, 3:15 okay Franky you can do this you only have to get to 4:30. Don't stuff up._

My thoughts were loud and outspoken. I ran my fingers through my damp hair and un-tied my plait, deciding to jump in the shower and clean myself up. I needed Bridget to know I could do this, I needed to know I could do this and not burn my parole. _I could do that, right?_

I pulled off my clothes slowly so I wouldn't rub the fresh cigarette burns too abruptly. though the sting was still very apparent and oddly comforting. I washed my body and brushed my teeth before climbing into a nice black blouse, trousers and pink cotton underwear. I needed to cover up my day, even if I knew that Bridget was too good at reading me to accomplish that. I pulled my hair back into a wet pony tail and sauntered to the kitchen. It was 4pm and I started chopping and dicing veggies determined to wash away the smell of booze and vomit with the aroma of home-cooked soup. I danced as I chopped: Stateless, Bloodstream singing in the back ground. I stood near the kitchen window, the light breeze hitting my face feeling content and strangely at peace.


	10. Chapter 10

**For all the Nicole DaSilva Lovers out there I hope you like the Characterception going on here and messing with poor Bridget's head! Keep up the reviews and let me know what you think or what you'd like to see more or less of. Also, sorry for all the past typos I missed I believe they are fixed now! REVIEW!**

I pulled into the parking lot at the current Federal corrections facility I worked at in down town Melbourne. Before taking the big breath I needed to push myself out the door I took a big gulp of my green tea. She was strong in my nostrils and on my tongue. Just as she intended, the smell and taste of hand-rolled fags and mint toothpaste hung on my mouth hitting me before the taste of tea did. I had never smoked a day in my life but I ached to taste it off her cracked lips... I felt a smile spread across my chest as I plodded toward the building.

Everyone greeted me pleasantly and exchanged morning conversation as I took my seat in my office. I was still fairly new before I left for leave but I had settled in quickly. Still, I could feel my co-workers were curious and wanted to ask about how I was and perhaps why I had been off. For obvious reasons I couldn't inform them that I had taken home my ex-patient turned lover from parole and brought her home with me. Hell, that sounded crazy even to me... _maybe it was._ Honestly Franky was often terrifying even to me. I loved her, I knew that. Yet, it didn't stop me from fearing the things I knew she was capable of if we didn't get her on a healthy track over the coming months.

"Hello Stella. it's lovely to meet you." I chimed to my new intake. She looked familiar but I couldn't quite place it. I looked to the clock. it was 9:13am...

Stella eyed me from her chair. She sat stiff with a very composed feel about her. A quick glance at her file and I understood why. An ex-tactical response officer pulled in for drug affiliation and un-necessary brute force.

Stella was stunning. Her long light brown hair hung nearly half way down her back and her piercing green eyes reminded me so much of Franky it was eerie. I found her endlessly distracting. Suddenly I found myself wondering if Franky had a sister because she truly could have passed for her. It saddened me to realize I knew so little about her that I couldn't even answer that question.

 _" It's like I don't even know her..."_

"Wha, was that?" Stella question eyebrows crinkled with her forehead. I hadn't even realized I'd been speaking aloud.

"Sorry. Nothing. So how are you settling in Stella?"

"Yeh. Good, I guess. As good as I can be. How often do we have to do this uh?" She seemed irritated but calm and composed. I lifted my eyebrow in response. If 20 years in corrections had taught me anything it was that the women who thought they didn't need help were typically the ones who needed it most and being that she was an officer who'd certainly never be returning to her line of work I figured her mental health may be a bit fragile. I smiled and leaned toward her.

" After today you don't have to do these sessions at all but it will look good when your parole comes up and I truly think you'll benefit from it." She flexed her upper face slightly with intrigue and nodded submissively.

"Okay." She said "I'll bite, good luck to you though... Years of policing has made me a bit hard to read and un-pack I'm told." She seemed cocky and sure of herself and that presence was so haunting my mind once again raced with thoughts of Franky. Was she being productive, destructive, numb, all of the above? I longed so much to know.

"You know, you seem to be somewhere else Ms. Westfall ." Stella said blatantly as she looked me up and down. I was taken with her thick Sydney accent and how close she sounded to... _Come on Bridget get out of your arse this is Stella ex-cop..._

"Sorry Stella I'm here, I promise you. I'm just back after a long leave so my head is a million places I apologize. I'm looking forward to getting to know you if you'll have it." I was sincere. I truly did find her sweet and I wanted to know her story.

"So am I yer first crooked cop?" She said laughing nervously and chewing her lip. Am I seeing things? I nodded as our session came to an end and she excused herself from my office looking cheeky and content with herself. I found myself twirling my pen between my fingers as I finished my now ice cold tea.

The hours seemed to drag on and I watched the clock frequently through my next two intake appointments. Lunch rolled around and as I picked over my sandwich I hoped Franky had prepared herself something decent to eat. Her appetite hadn't been great since getting out, but to be honest I had nothing to compare it to...

I got busy filing paperwork when I received a call from Wentworth Prison to remind me about Franky's weekly parole meeting. I wrote down all the details and fiddled with the paper clips on my desk. It was now 3:17pm. _43 minutes left. You can get through this._

4pm finally lit up on my computer screen and I bolted for the door knocking two file folders off my desk in the process and setting me back another 3 minutes to clean up...

I nervously started up my car and headed for home, uncertain what exactly to expect when I got there...


	11. Chapter 11

**Keep the reviews coming guys! I Want your opinions . I'm loving every part of writing this! Cannot wait for season 4. The preview as me so inspired I tried to use it in this chapter! Hope you like.**

 ** _"I Think I might have inhaled you. You've gotten into my bloodstream. I can feel you flowing in me."_**

My hands shook violently as I stood in front of the door. There were about 10 more cigarette butts in the ash tray on the porch than when I left but otherwise the outside looked the same. I unlocked the door and silently wondered why I expected it to suddenly look like it wasn't my home or something or why I was fiddling with my index and ring finger when I had never had a nervous habit in my life... But I stopped thinking about it abruptly when I finally pulled it together and opened the door.

There she was, standing by the kitchen sink ladling soup into two bowls and gingerly adding a garnish on top. She appeared so content as she put the finishing touches on her art. I took her in. She had her hair pulled completely off her face, something I had rarely witnessed and music was playing softly in the background. She looked very put together, tidy almost... and it smelled like ginger, and green pepper and excellently paired vegetables sauteed in soup. I walked toward her in the kitchen slowly so I wouldn't startle her and then it hit me; the smell of dank vomit hung in the air, now only slightly hidden by the scent of soup and I realized that in fact, she looked too put together...

"Aye Gidge!" She leap toward me overpowering me with the smell of mouthwash and cologne. I touched her shoulder lightly and felt a smile creep onto my face. She looked like a proud little girl as she presented me with the dinner she'd prepared. For the first time I felt our age difference. She stared at my now blank face wiping her nose roughly as her lips battled out whether to smile or twitch. I pulled her in tightly and hugged her realizing she was trying to understand why I hadn't yet.

"I missed ya." She chirped in my ear. I held her tighter realizing how badly I'd missed her back. She seemed to wriggle in discomfort making a light guttural noise and I loosened my grip on our hug.

"Everything okay under there?" I questioned sounding nearly stern as I tugged the corner of her blouse.

She hung her tongue out the left side of her mouth.

"Wouldn't you like to know." She hissed back opening her top two buttons. Cheeky and typical. I softened taking my seat across from her at the table.

Everything was tidy, normal looking and I was truly shocked. That fact in itself scared me because the psychologist in me, the girlfriend of Franky in me knew there was no way she had dealt this well with the first day on her own. I knew she had serious abandonment issues and if it hadn't crept up on her yet I knew it was only time before it would. So I smiled at her playing footsies with her under the table completely taken with her all over again and tried desperately to push the worry from my mind and ignore the smell of vomit as I ate the delicious dinner she'd made me. That felt nice, knowing I was coming home to her at the end of the day would be endlessly rewarding. I felt pleasantly distracted but I was plagued by the worry about her seemingly sore ribs and the blisters on her fingers. She fidgeted in her seat as she noticed me staring at her hands.

"So Gidge, ya reckon we can do some decorating together in here? I'm digging your blue walls an all but eh the bird plates? It's a bit old ladyish hey?" She was purposefully avoiding the questions she knew I wanted to ask but I played along, we'd both had a long day. I leaned forward and shoved her playfully.

"Who you calling old lady !?" I was standing up at this point pulling her out of her chair so we were face to face. She smiled from ear to ear and beckoned me to dance with her. She beamed as I obliged and we danced together for the first time, she really was starting to feel safe...


	12. Chapter 12

**Have you guys been enjoying Domestic Fridget?! So much ahead for them.**

 _"You're a frightened little kid paddling out of your depths, you're shit scared you've swum out too far and you're not gonna make it back to shore. And you know what? I don't reckon you can"_

The mirror seemed to trail my body for ages that morning, picking up every imperfection, every scar, every fear rattling inside me seemed to literally glisten off my white fitted dress shirt and wrap me in my black pant-suit. Bridget stood at my side touching my shoulder gently.

"I look like a fucking tool." I whispered, a laugh escaping me as I spoke.

"Nao, you look hot as hell Franky." I knew she was serious , that smile of hers told me that much was true but I just couldn't shake the preminition that this day was going to spew all over my shoes... _possibly literally._

"I just can't shake the thought that a legal aid position isn't exactly something a paroled, violent offender is going to be viewed as the right candidate for hey? What'ya reckon?"

"Franky, they know all that remember? This company literally is designed to help give ex-criminals a chance to do something great with their lives. Besides I gave you a good word and last time I did that I think it turned out pretty well yeah?"

"Yeh, I guess living with you turned out alright." I chirped playfully as I shoved her. But I wasn't feeling nearly as cheeky as I was trying to seem and I could tell Bridget knew that. She pulled out a small black backpack and thrust it toward me. I felt my eyebrows lift in response.

"What's this?" I thumbed through the contents in the bag. My wallet, a water bottle, cigarettes, tissues, organic stomach soothing mints (cuz Gidge is granola like that), a second set of dress shoes and a fresh dress shirt. Clearly she too was worried my nerves would get to me...

"Now you just need to throw your lunch in and you're ready to go. I doubt you'll need half of this stuff... But I thought it might ease your nerves to be prepared." She looked so sweet and mothering it was almost haunting, but I silently accepted her caring gesture and sauntered to the kitchen to pile my lunch into the bag.

"Lighter." I sounded hoarse and quiet.

"Huh?"

"I need a lighter, or I can't light my ciggies."

"Side pockets of your bag Bub, there's two of them." She spoke proudly as though she knew I'd ask. I couldn't help but smile at her as she fussed with my hair pulling it into a much tighter pony tail than I was used to. I winced a bit as she pulled tight against my head but I trusted her more than I ever had anybody. I turned around and kissed her roughly. Tears welled up in my eyes but I bit my lip hard to fight them back. _You can do this._

"You can do this Franky, you're gonna rock it I know it." She said mirroring my thoughts. She kissed me back gently on the top of my head before leading me out to the car. I looked like the real deal, tattoos covered and all; but I couldn't help feeling small as I gulped back the vomit in my throat and we pulled out of the driveway,


	13. Chapter 13

**Franky working her way into the Legal world has to be the most adorable and tragic thing ever! I think Gidge agrees. Enjoy!**

I stood in the doorway of the Legal Office where I had been interviewed and re-adjusted my dress shirt a million times as though if I fixed it up and made it smooth Bridget wouldn't notice that I had changed into the second one... I pulled my hair out of its tight enclosure and chewed my lip hard as I waited. It seemed like an hour that I paced those glass doors . I watched so many people walk past me looking like they belonged there. Heavily made up women with tailored suits and a poise about them so firm it lifted their asses as they strutted by me. I felt my posture fall. _There's no way they're going to want me. He doesn't want you..._ I shook the thought away and smiled as I saw Bridget walking toward me.

She looked unusually disheveled herself. Her hair was down and her eyes glimmered with what seemed like a mix of love and hurt as she took me in. She looked to my feet and traced my body with her haunting blue eyes. I shivered a bit feeling emotionally undressed to her yet again. I scrunched my face feeling small and she stepped into my bubble pulling me in tightly. It stung, with new burns fresh on my ribs but I refused to squirm. She had already figured out what I had been doing and I promised I'd stop... If only she knew how hard that was.

"Mmm you smell fantastic Gidge." She wiggled a little at the compliment.

"Well, did you let your nerves get to you?" She said leaning in for a kiss. I placed my hand on her lips and gently pushed her back fearing my breath might knock her over.

"Breath mint."

"Huh?"

"I need a breath mint." She looked confused but reached into her pocket and handed me a stick of gum. I promptly chucked it into my mouth and then pulled her in for a passionate kiss. She held her lips tightly letting me know she was nervous about something but she held our embrace lovingly just the same.

"Nah Gidge, I did okay." She gave me an understanding look that quickly turned to what seemed like either concern or disgust and reached for my bag.

"Did you throw your other dress shirt in your bag?" I felt anger prickle under my skin... I was pretty certain I loved this woman but I hated when she tried to "mom" me. I was already painfully aware of how much older she was and how natural it was for her to constantly try and fix me.

I tensed up snatching my bag back from her and curling my fingers in and out on my left hand resisting the urge to punch something. I breathed out hard.

"Fuck off Gidge, I'll wash it when I get home yeh? Fuck this day." Tears welled up in my eyes as i slugged myself to the car. She turned me around hard to face her and looked me in the eyes.

"I'm not doing this here, we're in a fucking parking lot!" I screamed before continuing to the car. We sat in silence. She made no effort to start the car or to speak. She just touched my shoulder softly and pushed my hair off my face. I softened instantly and started to sob, which made me even more angry.

"Franky, it's okay I..." I cut her off with my shouting.

"It's not fucking okay! I'm so fucking rooted Gidge! I stuffed up! Again.. its all I ever fucking do... I might as well go back to Wentworth..."

"Franky, seriously just listen to me."

"Nup, there's nothing you can say that will make this better. I'm never going to get my shit together and my parole officer is just going to see shit and more shit and lock me back up."

"Well, you're a legal assistant I'm sure you'll find a way to fight it." She smirked looking incredibly smitten with herself all of a sudden.

"Wha?" I groaned.

"You got the job Franky. They called me minutes before I came to get you."

"Nuh uh, then why'd you look so scared?"

"Cuz I am babe, I know you'll rock this but I'm allowed to worry too." I looked at the ceiling and smiled to myself. _Holy fuck Franks you did it!_

"But how?"

"They liked yer 'ridged honest approach' and how 'raw and real' you were. I've always loved that about you too so I can't say I'm surprised... she spoke quickly throwing in a completely different topic at a moment's notice. "Speaking of honesty how have you been doing with, er you know..." She touched my ribs softly and looked at me doe eyed.

"I think I might need to throw my other dress shirt out."

"Huh?" I caught her completely off guard for the first time ever with my subject change.

"You made me a beat smoothie this morning... the shirt was white." I looked at my shoes and then flashed her a wink. She laughed far harder than I expected her to before nodding her agreement.

"I love you Franky and all that comes with you, you know that right?" I shoved her for being a pile of mush but silently relished in the comfort.

"Yeah yeah bub I love you too." I teased, and we drove off as the sun had begun to set...


	14. The Letter

**_"I don't give a shit about your family, if you're stupid enough to keep them in your life than that's your problem."_**

 ** _*This is a bold chapter. I hope you like the shift in gears, review and keep following ! Enjoy the cliff hanger !_**

 **-3 weeks into Franky's Legal Aid Job-**

I trembled slightly as I placed the envelope on the coffee table. I knew Franky was already on her way home from work and I needed to brace myself for everything to fall hard at her feet and this was one thing I wasn't sure I could pick her up from. I took another sip of my tea and began to chop vegetables for dinner. The house already smelled homey and warm but I knew she was going to need a lot more comfort than I could offer her on this one...

I could hear keys jingle in the door and the bang of her throwing her brief case on the floor. She was never graceful and I could always tell the type of day she'd had within the first few minutes of her walking through the door. She brought with her the lingering smell of burnt embers and a hard day laced with anxieties and pride all thrown together. I caught her eye from the kitchen as she licked her lips and flicked her cigarette out the door. I hated it when she did that, it took me ages to clean them up but I wasn't about to call her on it right now. I could already sense her tension and I was about to add to it...

Most days she sauntered in proud of the work she'd achieved in her 6 hour adjusted work day but every once in awhile (particularly on Tuesday's like today) she came in feeling defeated and small. Working and being out of prison had been amazing for Franky; I had relished in watching her build pride in herself and others little by little every day, but she still couldn't help but self-destruct in the low moments and when she fell she fell hard enough to leave blood, sweat and burns behind...

She must have felt my eyes on her because she leaned back out the door and picked up the cigarette butt and placed it carefully in the empty coffee bin we kept by the door. I smiled sweetly to myself at her consideration and waited for her to swoop in and kiss me. She walked in slowly dragging her feet and looking exasperated. I watched as she rubbed the remaining ashes on her hands between her thumb and ring finger rapidly. It was then I noticed her bloodied knuckles. She sensed the concern on my face and pulled me in close to her.

"Please don't ask. I'm fine Gidge. How was your day?" I nodded my understanding and soaked her in, letting her scent linger on my shirt collar.

"Ehh, it was Tuesday." I said un-enthused as I pushed the envelope gingerly out of her reach on the table. I she watched me closely as i did it. _Shit._

"Hey, what's that ? Hiding letters from your other lovers Gidge?" She chirped playfully. I tried to play along but my face must have shown concern because she got hyper defensive in a split second. I felt her lean in close over my shoulder, she was only 3 inches taller but I swear when she wanted to, she felt 6 feet tall...

"Give it here yeh?" She said firmly, holding her lips taught. I fidgeted before opening my mouth to speak.

"Franky I don't think you should even open this, especially if you've already had a rough day..." I said looking to her knuckles pointedly.

"Oh fuck off Gidge, I can handle meself yeah?!" She was fiery tonight and I was very aware that I was playing with lighted matches. I poured her a glass of Captain Morgan before handing the letter to her. I watched her face scrunch as she read the address she didn't recognize, the penmanship pushed far back in her memory, and the perfectly printed Francesca Doyle on the very informal looking envelope. I could sense her confusion.

"My dad?" She said sounding partly angry, partly timid and small. I shook my head no and motioned for her to sit down. She pulled up a chair beside me at the dining table and started to open the letter carefully.

Her eyes flickered with hurt and anger and all at once I knew she realized what she was holding. She shifted violently into a standing position and threw back her glass of rum in one swift motion barely wincing as it burned its way down her throat.

"Mum...!?" She spat. All I could do was nod.


	15. Chapter 15

**_"If I saw her I'd slit her froat! Now how the hell does that make me good hey?! I fucking killed her!...and That's what I hang on to when I see her dying I pretend it was mum!"_**

 ** _*Had too much fun with this one! Enjoy!_**

She was far too still. Her lips were tightly shut and she held on to the edges of the table so firmly I swore she thought she was going to float away. Her left knuckle trickled a small stream of fresh blood from the tension and I realized I hadn't even asked her yet what had gotten to her so much that she'd punched something that hard... She looked at the letter silently for nearly ten minutes, not moving, not speaking. I stood up and moved toward her, I knew I needed to do something but I had never been so afraid to approach her. I remembered her sentiments toward her mother, remembered she was a murder... something I had pushed so far back in my mind I barely knew it was there. Now, it was on replay in my thoughts.

 _"If I saw her I'd slit her froat! Now how the hell does that make me good hey?! I fucking killed her!...and That's what I hang on to when I see her dying I pretend it was mum!"_ And I couldn't help but wonder if the nights she thrashed herself to sleep if she could still see her dying... I wasn't sure if that thought made me want to hold her closer or sleep with one eye open. I pushed the thought from my mind.

She was looking at me with a deadpan stare and I didn't know what I should do next. In over 20 years of training I had never treated someone quite as volatile as Francesca Doyle and I certainly had never loved someone like her.

I had slowly made my way beside her. She didn't move, didn't acknowledge me. She just ran her fingers over the return address on the envelope. I was trying to read her, place what exactly she was doing when she spoke. Her voice was hoarse and thick with anger and every part of her was more still than I had ever seen her. I barely recognized it as her at all...

"This is her address... " She spoke every word as though it held great importance. "This is were she lives... She never fucking left!" I opened my mouth to speak but I could think of nothing to say to her. I wanted to hold her, comfort her somehow but I hadn't the slightest clue how to do that. She stepped away from me biting her lips hard. Thrusting open the letter she chucked it onto the floor and tucked only the envelope into her pant pocket. She pulled her rolling papers and lighter out as she walked toward the front door not even bothering to slip on her shoes. I called to her as loudly as I could choke out.

"Franky Wait up!" I could hear her sniffle loudly as she turned around briefly and hung her head in the doorway.

With a slam of the hard wooden door she nearly whispered : _"I'm not a good person..."_


	16. Chapter 16

_"And then you fucking walk in! ... and you're not even him anymore."_

 _Franky... Franky What have you done!I thought we had a hold of this anger... I thought we had stopped this from coming... What-What can I do with you. You're my kid-I have to do something..._

It was freezing. I could literally feel the dew covering me from my nose to my feet. My eye lids fluttered and I desperately tried to open them but I couldn't will myself to do it. My body ached horribly and I had no idea where I was. My dad's voice was on repeat in my mind and I had no idea why. I shook my head violently side to side trying to clear my vision. Acid stung the back of my throat and I desperately wanted a cigarette. I lay there for what must have been ten minutes before I finally managed to open my eyes.

"Oh fuck!" I jumped to my feet, pain searing through my tight muscles. I was out cold on the cobblestones of someone's garden. Terrified. I looked around. My fingers were moving so quickly back and forth I felt like they were in spasm. _Where the fuck am I!? Where is Gidget... Oh fuck me! What happened..._ I reached into my pant pockets searching for my phone frantically but the only thing in my pocket was a an envelope and a handkerchief. I threw them into the grass upon seeing them and how bloody everything was. I could hear myself losing my breath before I fell on my arse and scurried myself up against the wall of the strange house.

 _Geeze what have I done... What have I done Fuck Franky! Fuck!_ I pulled myself to my feet and bolted toward the gate. As soon as my hands met the lock I felt like I could pass out. Dirt was caked so far beneath my nails I couldn't even tell where my nail beds started anymore. _Fuck, fuck, where is she! Gidget?! Gidget!?_ "Gidget!" I heard myself scream as I pushed the gate open. I stumbled barely able to make sense of the sunlight. I was nearly at the street when I made the mistake of turning around. Then I saw him. Pale, shaky and blue eyes that seemed to burn right through me. Standing behind me holding the envelope I had dropped in my haste.

 _"Franky what have you done! Franky wait! Let me help you!Francesca please!"_

I felt tears pool in my eyes. I ran, as hard as my feet would carry me leaving him in my past again. There was no looking back and I had no idea what he could make out of what he was holding, what I could even make of it. I couldn't remember anything... and that's what scared me the most. I shook the thought from my mind wiping my dirty, bloodied fingers on my dress shirt. _I'm still in my work clothes..._ I heard myself laugh nervously and then it started to come back to me...


	17. Chapter 17

She must have slipped in the back door through the night. I had been so exhausted the last few nights I didn't even hear her. I felt her stiff beside me. She was so ridged and she smelled horrible! I rolled over so fast upon realizing she was there and sobbed harder than I ever had realizing she was alive and safe. It had been the longest 3 days of my life not knowing where she was or how she'd been. She looked like death had touched her and as soon as I grasped her hands for comfort I knew that in some way it had...

She stirred awake at the onset of my sobbing and clutched my hands for dear life before joining in my tears. Her body shook violently as she heaved her cries in and out of her chest. Her whimpering was so soft she sounded mouse-like.

I knew I looked a mess of worry. The past days at work had been long and terrible for me. My clients and co-workers had noticed. Yesterday I couldn't even look at Stella and I knew I needed to go home and rest, so I had taken a sick day to try and pull myself together. The problem was being alone here without her was the worst thing for me...It had provoked me to read The Letter...

But despite my own disheveled appearance, nothing had prepared me for hers. Her hair was matted and greasy and her rat tail was so tangled into the rest of her hair it was no longer noticeable from the rest of her hair. She reeked of bile and dampness and I could have sworn the faint rusty smell of week old blood hung on her clothing... Her cheek bones seemed drawn in, her eye make-up was smeared all over the collar of her undershirt and under her nails caked together with nearly an inch of hardened mud. I shuddered wondering why. She was dressed exactly as she had been when she left but her dress shirt was missing and only her undershirt lay on her chest in its place. I dared not ask what she'd done with it.

I moved away from her abruptly and sat and the foot of the bed; suddenly angry and tormented just to look at her. _She didn't even bother to find a way to call me and let me know she was okay... What have I gotten myself into..._ She sniffed loudly holding her nose in her finger tips before getting up and walking to the en-suite. She had wet , muddy socks from leaving without her shoes and hadn't bothered to remove them before crawling into bed with me. I watched her slide them off roughly as she moved toward the shower. _Franky what the fuck did you do?!_

Her presence was different. She was no longer the proud, somewhat angsty but put together 29 year old Legal aid I had been living with. She lingered by me hauntingly, like the girl I saw through the window of the Slot in Wentworth. I followed her to the shower meeting her gaze briefly and my body prickled with goose bumps but I ached to hold her. I had missed her so much that I said nothing. I stripped off my pajamas and gently pulled her clothes off as well before jumping into the hot stream of water. She scrunched her face tight as I touched her and looked to me through the tears in her eyes. but she stayed close to me as though she was welcoming every part of it. We were silent as I helped her clean the dirt and blood from her nails and hair. Slowly she started to look like the woman I loved again. I ran my fingers over her burns softly. She flicked her fingers lightly as I traced each rib.

We remained quiet for nearly an hour after finishing up in the shower until over breakfast she took my face in her hands and said : "Gidge, I missed ya!" Before breaking down. I consoled her as best I could and begged to know where she'd been. She ignored my question and flinched with every attempt I made to draw the story out of her. Looking like a frightened little kid she finally said plainly: "I love being free, but everything seemed clearah in prison..." Her words hung in the air ominously.


	18. Chapter 18

"Okay, I've got my files, my lunch, my ciggies... I think I'm set!" I heard my thoughts escape my lips and Bridget promptly smiled in my direction catching me talking to myself. I bobbed around the kitchen getting ready for my day. I snorted at the realization that she was amused by my process of getting ready. I Loved the things that she found adorable about me and mirrored them in the things I adored about her. Typically she'd have been at work hours before me, but on this particular Monday she had the day off. Getting to connect with her in the morning for the first time since I had gotten back 10 days ago was amazing. We hadn't talked about it and I was keen to keep it that way as long as she'd let me. My memory of those night was a blurr and I respected that my mind was keeping the memory from me for a reason. I'd unpack it all when Bridget and I were ready to deal with whatever had really happened. I shook the image of my bloody dress shirt and fingers from my head quickly, refusing to let myself go there. _Not here, not now._ I knew she'd probe it out of me eventually and I'm sure she knew it too.

She pulled me in affectionately and played with my ear lobes. "Well don't you just have this down to a science here without me Puss Puss!" She sounded playful and slightly aroused. I licked my lips in response pulling her hips hard against mine and cupping her firm butt in my hands. We held each other's glance aggressively and I nearly forgot what time it was. "Ahaha, yeh Bub I'm a strong independent Chicka, does that get'cha riled yeh?!" She blushed noticeably and I beamed loving that I still had that effect on her. I always found myself wondering if she loved the danger of our very unprofessional relationship and the danger of hiding it. All the secrets she was hiding for me seemed to really do something for her physically and I kind of liked it too... "Franky its time for you to go pussy cat!" I jumped hearing her voice, I had been so completely lost in my thoughts. She smiled and flicked my tongue back into my mouth with her fingers.

"Watch it Gidge I bite!" I kissed her hard tugging at her lips with my teeth as we pulled away. "Just trying to keep ya from catching flies my love" She whispered winking at me. I swatted her with a jump in my step as I moved toward the front door. I loved her so fucking much and if I wasn't already late I'd have taken her right there all over the kitchen counter. Somehow though, I'd become responsible, And I loved my job nearly as much as I loved her. "I'll see you lateah" I chimed as I tripped out the door. _Fucking high heel shoes._

"I think I'll skip wearing pants today, what'ya say?!" She hollered to me as I left.

"Be naked when I get home" I yelled back with a snap in my tone. She was astounding at pushing things under the rug. It was almost scary to me, as though she had truly forgotten what had went on just over a week prior during those 3 days of hell. I wanted it to be fake, but I couldn't shake it trying to creep back into my memory. I wondered just how much she knew... But I forced the image of her pant less into my mind as I turned on the ignition and headed to the office.


	19. Chapter 19

It's funny how love affects us, how it blinds us and hinders our judgement. I fell in love with my little spunk rat in a prison... there was no doubt from the beginning she was volatile and this was not a fairy tale love affair. Yet, I fell for her harder than I had anyone. She was smart beyond her years, cocky, beautiful in a very different way, and she held a presence about her I'd never experienced in my life. Maybe that should have warned me...

But she was so young, and most days I forgot her 29 year old body also held only a 29 year old's mind because she was so wise, and then there were days I swore she had the inhibitions and emotional chaos of a 3 year old who'd missed her nap. Today was one of those days...

She'd been back to work 3.5 weeks and everything had been too calm and gentle about her. She loved me passionately, but had lost her rough edge and I knew it wouldn't last, a part of me was glad of that... But I knew, she was far too calculated and she ticked twice as much as usual. Her lips were cracked from constantly biting them and her fingers were calloused she'd wrung them in and out so many times. I knew she was close to breaking point. I reckoned she was starting to remember... and I wasn't sure I was prepared to know what that was. She had come home from work looking tired and clammy. I had made it home from work early and prepared us a nice tea but she had other plans...

She stormed over to me and thrust her briefcase at my feet. She held a piece of crumpled paper in her left hand that she was clenching in and out. Her eyes darted from me to the paper in her hand repeatedly and I swear she wiped her nose and cleared her throat half a dozen times in two minutes. This was bad ...I felt myself stiffen as she looked through me

She looked how she had the night she left and for a moment her words as she left haunted my mind. "I'm not a good person". I looked to her eyes. She was starting to tear up and had scrunched her face up so hard her lips were quivering. I wanted to reach out and hold her... I watched her try to decipher whether I was intimidated yet, She adjusted her jaw and grimaced hard before I finally spoke.

"Franky, is everything okay? What have you got th..." She threw her arms up still holding the paper ad cut me off with her screaming."Ya fucking kept it Bridget!? How could you?! I wanted nothing to do wiv her! I can't fucking believe you..." She was pacing with her arms above her head. I didn't even know what to say, or what to do. I hadn't even realized what was going on until I noticed the Letter from her Mum was no longer in the buffet cabinet behind us... Fuck!

"MMmm MMMmhmm" She was so upset all she could do was mutter

She was squeaky and guttural in the same breath. "I thought maybe you would eventually want to read it, unpack that part of your past finally." She flicked her tongue off her teeth roughly and laughed instantly making me regret saying anything. I fidgeted a bit in my seat, I'd never seen her this mad and I wasn't posItive I could bring her back down. "You thought what!? Fuck why the hell would I wanna do that! We're not doing this! We're not talking about her!" She was feral. I stood up and moved toward the kitchen island to give her some space.

"Franky I just needed to.."

"No! Get out! Get. The Fuck. Away From me! Now!" She was furious but she followed me to the island throwing the pink and green glasses to the ground with a purposeful shatter

I stood as still as I could so I didn't provoke her worse. I nodded my submission and stood by the sink waiting for her to finish her tantrum so I could talk to her, but not feeling she was safe to be left alone...

She was so out of breath in the next ten minutes standing in her pile of shattered glass she was gasping and blowing her hair out of her eyes through pursed lips.

Nearly 20 minutes later I shouted to her from across the room. "Oh Franky give it up!" I expected her to freak out one last time, but she just dropped to the floor sobbing. I watched her roll a piece of glass in and out of her finger tips. I got down beside her and gently pried it from her hand before I pulled her into my lap.

"Puss, babe it is going to be okay..." She scrunched her face harshly but held onto me tight and I knew she was finally listening. "I'm sorry Gidge... I just..."

"I know love. I know." I said calmly. She wiped her eyes and blew air out of her lips and nose slowly before speaking very slowly.

"I want you to read it."

"Hmm" I uttered into her shoulder.

"The letter. You kept it. You read it to me." I looked to her serious, cold green eyes and then to her hands grasped tightly in mine and remembered how she'd looked after she left that night. She'd only know the Letter was written and reacted that way. How the hell could I read it to her.

I felt myself choke up a bit as she laughed lightly. I instantly got chills and then she sat upright holding my face in her hands. "I remember."


	20. Chapter 20

I was very still. Trying hard to gage whether she was serious or just testing my reactions in that 3 year old mentality I knew she sometimes held onto. I had read the Letter... Shuddered for days that a mother would dare write her such horrible emptiness after treating her so poorly and I wished in the moment that I hadn't kept it. Did I really want her to know after all this time that she was right, her mother hadn't changed a bit.

I put my hand on her cheek to catch the tears pooling in her eyes. She grinded her teeth beneath my cupped palm. I stiffened at the sound of it, like nails on a chalkboard but I knew she was there, lucid and aware of me by it. She never could handle even the most loving touch without some grimace of acknowledgement.

"Gidge, I mean it. I need to know what she had to say to me. I-I never bothered to let her tell me in person."

I looked at her point blank. Her face was taught, no quivering lip, no tongue, nothing but coldness. It was a level of eerie I had never experienced and I wasn't sure I could handle knowing the answers to the questions it provoked...

She pulled herself out of my lap and sat on the floor beside me. I watched her silently pull a piece of glass off the floor and into her right palm. I'd have made her drop it, or feared it somehow if I didn't already know it wasn't for me... She'd never hurt me and I knew that in every fiber of me. But watching her grip it like a shiv scared me a little once again reminding me who I fell in love with.

She shook the paper in my face abruptly. I swallowed hard. "You sure Pussy Cat? I can't take back these words..." She look at me un-moving and nodded.

: Dear Francesca, I haven't time for formalities, but to be honest I haven't much time for you either. I saw you on that TV show... I can't say I'm surprised you failed at that too, My closet full of 3rd place ribbons could have told me that was coming, but that fire, that anger you showed after, that was me. Thank God you got something useful. I don't want to see you, I don't want you to write. Have fun with that blonde bimbo you call a lover...I never wanted you, or the life you brought with you. Good luck with your life and the flavourful new ways you find to fuck it all up. When I'm gone you'll get my ashes and funeral bills. Its the closest we'll ever be...

She stiffened as I finished. I expected her to speak, to cry, something but she didn't. She crawled toward me cat-like cutting her hands and knees on the glass as she pranced toward me on all-fours. There was an electric look in her eyes that I knew all too well and for some sick reason I knew I wanted to distract her from her mommy issues as bad as she did...

I watched her eyes set firmly on my chest and I waited for her to get close enough to see her claws come out after me. She unlooped my blouse buttons with such ease that all I could do was watch her undress me with her eyes first, then her slightly bloodied fingers and finally for the last two buttons her teeth

She was breathing heavy and her eyes beamed with a look of psychosis but she was ravishing. Her knees and palms were bloodied from the glass but she looked so composed and in control and I relished in that, it was a far more positive response than I had expected... At least for now.

She rocked on hands and knees in front of me, clearly aroused as her hips swayed in and out. I felt her pounce and at once her hand was tight against my throat and her tongue danced in my mouth.

I leaned back and let her flick her tongue up and down my chest and playfully around my naval. I never understood it, but she had such a fascination with my belly button. I honestly got nothing out of it but I let her play at her will and assumed my role as her submissive partner. I loved her grittiness and angry sex seemed to be a passion of hers.

She yanked my underwear off and pushed me up against the island. Both of us still on the floor. Her phone rang in the distance and she ignoring it only moved faster. There was such a fire in her eyes I crossed my legs to keep my arousal from spilling on the floor.

She licked her lips and winked at me knocking my legs open and gently running her fingers up and down my inner thighs. I moaned and panted at her touch. There was no other response to her, she knew what she was doing and she knew it too. Her bold cocky attitude only made it more exciting and after months of being here with her everyday I still thirsted for that touch from her... The danger of it.

"Hahaha! Aye Bub ya like that hey?! I'm gonna ride ya raw mmm?" She pushed two fingers inside of me roughly and I squirmed side to side to adjust.

"Franky stop" I toyed playfully. "Make me" she hissed as she pumped and flicked her fingers in and out.

I nearly yelped at her skilled fingers. She giggled to herself. "All ya need is a good pair a hands Gidge!" I nodded in agreement as she pulled her fingers out seconds before I would have orgasm ed.

"Fuck Franky, What-w-What the hell" I panted. She just smiled and told me to lay back against the floor.

I started to and before I could get completely on my back she pushed me down working her way down my core with her tongue and holding me in place with her hands on my wrist and hip.

She yanked at my skirt as she breathed hot air between between my legs and licked her way to my climax.

I lay back in pleasure and we both jumped at the door bell ringing. I sat frozen , sweaty and wet, and she still rocking in place with her hands between her legs ignored it in favour of her own finish. Which I silently helped her with.

My mind raced with my fingers , I was getting anxious about who would be calling only minutes before a knock at the door... I had been trying hard to get my position back at Wentworth Correctional Center and was under a lot of scrutiny already. My chest tightened as I worried about whether we hadn't been careful enough...

Her phone started ringing again. "Oh stuff off ya fucka!" She shrieked as she stood up and finally went to answer the call.

I started cleaning up our clothes from the floor and moved toward the broom to clean up the broken glass. Green and pink shards were everywhere-She really knew how to bring colour into my life.

My back was cut up slightly but I was still panting in the pure pleasure of her impulsive desires. I listened in on her phone call timidly. Her face flexed repeatedly with concern as she spoke.

:"Yeh , yeh I'm so sorry I promise you it won't happen again! I'll meet you there in twenty minutes? I'm just down at the shops grabbing milk and eggs I'll be there soon... Okay, thanks for yer understanding. Yup. Bye."

I eyed her with concern as she hung up the phone and shook her head. The door bell rang again and I motioned for her to go into the bedroom.

I straightened my clothes out and headed toward the door looking through the curtains to see who was out there.

"Oh good God its only Vera" I nearly squealed.

I opened the door to her smiling ear to ear. "Come in love how are you?" "I'm good, how are you?" She chimed back.

We exchanged small talk briefly before she invited me to come back to her place to discuss re-instating my position at Wentworth. "I've pulled some strings and with a few stipulations I can get you your job back Miss Westfall" she said with a nudge.

There was a loud clatter from the bedroom. I froze momentarily. "What was that?" She questioned. "Oh, the cat's in there, she must have knocked something over. Come on I'll get my jacket lets get going." I sputtered as I directed her out realizing I'd already wasted 5 minutes of the 20 Franky had to get to her place...

Oh... I didn't know you had a cat." She said looking around. "She's kind of a stray I picked up a few months ago..." I stated loud enough for Franky to hear. "Well that's great than." Vera said Shrugging. "What's her name?" I smiled as we closed the door. "Mouse. Or Puss depends on how sweet or mischievous she's feeling." I chuckled. And we headed to her car.

I looked back briefly to watch Franky peeking through the curtain. I held my breath hoping desperately that she could run as fast as she could un-button a shirt.


	21. D8238

**_"It's a fine line between pleasure and pain, you've done don't try to explain, you've done it once you could do it again."_**

I was nearly in the door of my place when I realized I had completely forgotten that I told my parole officer I was out getting milk and eggs... I tensed up when I saw his car in my driveway and I turned up empty handed, sweaty and with blood crusted fingers. _Ahh.. Fucking hell Franky_ . I felt my tongue find its way behind my bottom teeth and I flicked it across them nervously.

I hadn't been home in weeks and I was scared that showed. There a lot of mail sticking out of my mailbox and most likely an inch of dust on everything... We really hadn't thought this through. I swallowed hard as my Parole officer David stepped out of his car and walked toward me. I held out my hand and fained a crooked smile.

"Ahh Francesca how have you been?" He drawled. I fought the urge to say something snarky to him but I bit my tongue hard enough to feel it throb in my mouth.

"Ahh yeh I'm good sir. I have uh been out with family a fair bit over the past few weeks sorry about the mess..." I stuttered out gathering up the mail and letting David inside. "Can I get you a tea er something else to drink?"

"No, no water will be fine thank you." He said as he looked to the mail in my hands. I thrust it down on my counter and ran him some cold water. My mind suddenly overcome with concern when I realized my mother had wrote me at Bridget's house and not here... _How had she known?_ Maybe it didn't matter anymore, but it gave me chills momentarily until David brought me back to Earth. "You have family near by then?"

"Just me dad... My mum used to live around here too." I spoke without even thinking, but he was happy with my response and we moved on. I wiped my fingers repeatedly on my pants hoping to remove some of the blood without drawing his attention.

We spent the next hour going over how my job was progressing, whether I'd been attending group sessions and what my goals were moving forward. It was all very clinical but honestly a great distraction for me from the last 24 hours.

He left at nearly 8pm and I was exhausted. My chest ached from crying, my palms and knees stung with the cuts from tiny shards of glass and I was tormented with my mother's words replaying in my mind. _I need to go and see Boomer..._ I flexed my hands in and out causing blood to pool in the creases of my palms. _She'll know what to do..._

I pulled off my pants and bra and stood over the bathroom sink staring at my reflection. I looked tired. My eyes wore dark colours better than my body ever did and my lips were so chapped from biting them it looked like I'd been out in the dead of winter for hours. Yet, David had found me convincing enough to leave somehow and I was content in that feeling.

I washed my eye make-up from my face scrubbing thoroughly as though I could wash away the images burned in my mind. I felt the warm water in my hands but all I could see was the ooze of her thick warm blood pooling on my finger tips and staining my shirt. Panic set in again instantly causing me to retch and moan. I placed my hand against the mirror to keep myself upright as I dry heaved into the sink.

The house was so empty my discomfort echoed off the walls around me. My ears were ringing from the pressure of clamping my jaw shut to hold back the bile in my throat.

I had finally gained enough composure to brush my teeth and pee before heading to my room to try and sleep. I pulled back the covers on my bed truly not looking forward to sleeping alone when I realized I hadn't even bothered to look through my pile of mail and something urged me to go and get it.

Sitting at my little black dining table I rifled through the pile. "Junk, Junk, Junk, government bullshit." I uttered aloud. "Hmphh..." I stopped on a large legal envelope. Francesca Doyle was printed perfectly smooth across the front of it. I turned in over in my finger tips rubbing my hands over the agency name at the top. "Bethal Funerals Melbourne" I read choking out each word. I shook my head abruptly feeling the itch to snap my neck to the side and re-adjust my jaw.

"Fuck!" I screamed into the evening before pushing the envelope to the bottom of the pile. I acted quickly and impulsively digging my letter opener hard into my bare thigh.

I shook slightly with the pain and control I experienced as I carved my newest tattoo by hand just below my boxers on my right thigh.

D8238 it read crisply. I smiled feeling my lips twitch slightly at the sides.

I let the bloody ink roll off my legs and drip a trail to my bedroom before rolling into bed for the night and hoping to the gods that I wouldn't dream.

I closed my eyes and tried to picture Gidget through the fog in my mind and hoped she'd be waiting for me after work tomorrow before sleep took over and my eyes fluttered shut.


	22. Chapter 22

I woke up with the sheet stuck to my leg. I winced at the sight of it crusted crimson. "Fuckin hell Franky"... Bridget's voice rang in my ears as I woke up to find her standing at the foot of my bed. I smiled and rolled to a sitting position hearing her voice.

"Franky Jesus I left you alone for one night..." I waved my hand in her face trying to block out her judgement. I walked toward her peeling the sheet and scab from my leg.

"You do know that we can get you tats at a shop now yeah?" She said wagging her finger and lifting her brows in a bouncy concerned manner.

"Mmm Yah Bub but that doesn't really cut it ya know?!" I snarked trying to make light of a bad situation with a seriously awful pun... _Had I been drinking or something..._

She looked thoroughly un-amused with my smart ass-rhetoric but she pulled me to standing and kissed me anyways. "So..." she said pointedly. "I'm guessing things are coming back to you?"

I muttered hard under my breathe fluttering my fingers lightly against my throbbing thigh. "Maybe..." I told her looking at the floor. "I'm not gunna push you Puss, I know you'll come to me when you're ready. But this..." She pointed at my leg. "This is a challenge for me, you know that."

"Yeh, I know Gidge I'm sorry... I didn't really think..." She looked at the roof as the tears pooled in her eyes. She was genuinely affected by anything I ever did that could possibly hurt me and I loved her for that, but I needed this release more than she knew...

I tried hard to understand her heavy drinking even though it hit such a sore spot for me... and she typically did her best to understand my Self-Injurious tendencies...

She held me tightly in a hug and traced her fingers over my tank top and down each rib slowly as though she was counting the notches of my abdomen, hunting for whether I had scarred myself any further. I looked her in the eyes. "There's nothing else Gidge... Okay? That's it" I heard myself and I sounded angry but she looked at me softly patting my new tattoo as soft as she could. "That's your inmate number yeah?" She questioned gingerly. I just nodded before pushing her fingers away from my leg coarsely.

I felt myself wrinkle my face in frustration, a feeling I'd grown so accustomed to a rarely noticed, but in that moment everything was as lucid as crystal and I wished hard to fog it over... "Gidge?" I questioned. "Yeah Franky?" She nearly whispered. "You got any gear?"

I swore she swallowed her tongue at my question but instead of freaking out she proceeded calmly. "No, of course not, not my thing... But I do have a little bit of weed... Why?" She sounded 90 percent concerned and 10 percent intrigued.

"Wanna fly with me Gidge?" I winked in her direction. She looked me up and down taking me in and deciding how she was going to approach this.. "Franky you have to work..."

"An you don't?" I snapped. There was an intensity to everything that rolled off my tongue and I couldn't place why but I wasn't changing it. I hit the wall hard with my fist.

"Woah Franks Babe what are you doing?! " Bridget cringed as she spoke and the skin on my knuckles broke.

I shook my head to knock the image of her limp beneath me from my mind. I wasn't pretending anymore. When I see her dying I pretend it was mum...

"Please, Gidge, take me to see Boomer? I can't go to work like this."

She looked betrayed but she helped me into my pants, careful not to brush against my fresh wounds and held me upright in front of her just long enough to place a kiss on both cheeks.

"I love you Francesca Rose Doyle, you need to too..." She spook each syllable slowly into my ear. "I don't think you can hang on to whatever this is..." She pointed to my legs and then looked me up and down as I wiped a fraught tear from my eye. "anymore... We need to unpack it, whether you're ready or not."

"Okay. Okay... Please just take me to Boomer... I wanna go home..." I sounded exhausted but I was happy with every word that slipped past my tongue and over my grinding teeth.

Everything felt cold and black and I felt myself drop...


	23. Chapter 23

I broke her fall with my knees and arms as quickly as I could muster holding all 135 pounds of her barely off the ground so she wouldn't crack her head on the hardwood floor.

Fucking hell Franky what are you doing to me. I wondered what my next course of action should be... She obviously wasn't okay on her own and I had no idea why she'd fainted... _Infection? Fuck._ If I brought her to the hospital there would be some serious issues for me at work But I couldn't possibly let anything happen to her... I lowered her down to the floor and listened to her breathing. "Gidge, I'm-I'm fine okay? Please just help me up yeh?" I laughed nervously I was so relieved. "I'm sorry I guess I just need to eat something... I didn't mean to scare you..." I pushed her hair off her face and kissed her roughly holding her so tightly. "I'm so scared to lose you Bub..." I whispered in her ear. Her eyes darted between me and her bloody leg. "I know Gidge... I'm Sorry." I wanted desperately for her to say I had nothing to worry about, but she didn't and that unsettled me more.

I gripped her hands inside of my palms and gently rubbed her cracked knuckles. "You have to treat yourself better Franky... You know that right?" She scrunched her nose up hard and swallowed before nodding. "I wish I knew how... It's way to vivid Bridget... I can't handle living in these nightmares. morality isn't static... Its always this haunting choice for me, one I don't always make..."

I felt my skin prickle with goosebumps. I looked at my phone. 8:17am I had already called in sick knowing I'd need to be home with her... But I figured I'd better make sure she did the same. "Puss how about you call work so they know you won't be in and we can get you something to eat?"

I hung on the fact that she'd called me Bridget knowing that it held a haunting significance. I handed her the phone as she explained the stomach bug she'd come down with through the night. It was entirely believable to me because she was as white as a sheet and her hands were shaking rapidly. I was genuinely scared she'd knock out again before I could get food in her... I tried hard to remember if she'd eaten at my place the day before since I knew she hadn't eaten since getting home... I couldn't place it either way.

She hung up the phone chewing her lip and waiting for direction like a young child. I felt sick when I thought of her that way, but it was impossible in times like these to ignore our 17 year age gap... Especially when I'd almost mothered a child at 16...

"Gidge?" She whimpered. "I think I need to sit down." She looked scared, but more steady than before. I helped her into the kitchen and started to make her coffee. She sauntered over to the fridge and hung in the doorway staring at the empty shelves. "How did he honestly believe I was ever here?" I knew she meant David and was referring to her presence in her own apartment but her words lay in the air heavy with meaning for me. Had she ever really been here? She had so many post-prison hang ups to work out and even though I knew we'd made huge leaps and bounds I felt like lately she was slipping further and further away...

I watched her shove hand fulls of grapes in her mouth as she swayed off balance by the fridge. I wanted to do something, make her take better care of herself but such topics were touchy for Franky and knowing how it might blow up in my face made it hard for me to probe her too much...

I poured her coffee and sat down at the table to chat with her while she woke herself up and pulled herself together. She looked like she was in shock; her skin sweaty and pale looking. "Franky did something happen last night? You know you could have called me if you needed me."

She shot me a look of hurt. "You don't think I can do this do ya?" She spat pulling at a loose thread on her tank top. "What do you mean Franky?" I genuinely had no idea what she was getting at. She glared at me looking ready to fight.

"You know, you think that just because you've never been to jail in your 46 fucking years that you're sitting high up on some pedestal looking down at shit like me. And yah, maybe it makes ya feel betta if you can 'help' bogans like me. But you've got tickets on yourself if you think I'm the least bit convinced that you're not falling apart right in front of me yourself. You're no better ya fucking alcho!"

I clenched my fists, angry at her... Truly angry at her and hurt for one of the first times in our short lived relationship but I knew that had been her aim. She was hiding behind her fury to keep me out and if I was going to get anywhere with her I'd have to hold me cool and not let her blow up any further.

I watched her closely, looking for a hint of empathy in her eyes after her attack on my feelings. I'd known for some time now she was sensitive about my drinking and with her past it wasn't any wonder but why had she picked now to throw it in my face.

"Now Franky that's not fair... you know I'm working on my drinking and I've never claimed any high status. Where is all this coming from?!"

She lounged back in her chair bouncing her knees up and down nervously as she chewed her lip. "So when were you going to tell me you'd been hired back at Wentworth?"

Her eyes burned with frustration, hurt and tears as she slowly contemplated her next move. She was trying hard to avoid this conversation and to genuinely hurt me which was working. I felt my own eyes start to water with emotion as she picked at the scabs on her still bear leg.

"Franky, you knew Vera was working on that and it was pretty much a done deal. We talked about that and you were okay with it. I can even keep you up to date on how Booms is doing... Why are you avoiding my question?"

She pushed hard on her leg making it pool bloody ink. My stomach turned with impending nausea but I tried hard to ignore her. She really was a master at drawing in unnecessary attention and I wasn't keen to give her any. I knew how people with abusive child-hoods worked and I knew she wanted my negative attention but I refused to let her have it, especially to avoid what I needed to know. Whatever had happened those nights was eating her alive.

"Do you think it might be a good point in time to consider contacting your mother about not being her next of kin? I know she mentioned that you were, in her letter and to be honest I don't think you'll be the right person when the time comes to set up her funeral arrangements."

I was mad now, so I hit her hard below the belt as a desperate attempt to get her to break this tough girl facade and crumble just enough to let me build her back up.

I thought maybe she'd scream, maybe cry, something to tell me my tactics were working but eerily she laughed and swallowed hard instead. I watched her flick her fingers repetitively off the table and realized she hadn't even touched her coffee yet...

She finally sipped her coffee and I could see her fighting back her sobbing. She stood up breathing hard and wiping her eyes rapidly as she squeaked and sniffled. It was tearing me up but I was still upset with her too... Regardless of her motives she'd really hurt my feelings.

"Let's talk about your mum Franky. It's time we dealt with those emotions or you'll never ever be free from it."

"Here..." She said barely able to whisper of her heaving. She thrust a large legal envelope toward me.

I read the clear printing out loud. "what's this?" I questioned feeling my eyebrows raise in hard concern.

"There is nothing left to talk about Gidge... She-She's fucking dead okay? And every time I close my eyes I'm reminded. I can't stop washing her off my hands. It doesn't fucking stop! uhhh huh hhmmfff. Oh God! Why do you pull this shit out Bridget!" She had collapsed in a backward slide toward the doorway into her living room and slumped herself on her knees holding her face in her hands.

I felt my arms twitch nervously. We'd been through this before and I couldn't stop her parting words that night blaring in my head. _I'm not a good person..._ I blinked to clear my vision and make sure she was still there, still real.

She shrieked like she was in pain and chewed her lip so hard I watched the skin tear against her top teeth. I rolled my cell phone in my pocket not knowing whether to call her parole officer, the police, the hospital or all of them ...

She wiped her face and collected herself. "You can't call anyone Gidge... I will be fine okay?" she watched me with my phone and her eyes darted between it and my face with a strong sense of purpose.

"I- but Franky this... This..." She piped in with a heavy snap to her words. "This... is exactly what you knew you were getting into. Exactly what you covered up for me."

I gulped hard and realized she was right... _What have I done... I've been harbouring a murderer..._ And I still loved her more than anything. I had no idea what I was going to possibly do with her, with myself. I felt her slide up behind me and play lightly with my hair. "Don't cry Bub, its okay. I'm still just me, we'll be okay."

I turned and faced her soft eyes and let her tassle my hair literally shivering at everything that had happened... How was I ever going to fix this mess.

Suddenly, I had to know, "Franky..." My words fell softly into the air. She mouthed "Mmm?" in my direction.

"Meg Jackson... was-was she really an accident..." I regretted it the moment it came out of my mouth but I waited patiently for her answer. She re-adjusted her jaw and wrinkled her nose before she winked and finally answered. "That bitch was playing with me... "


	24. Chapter 24

I woke to the smell of eggs and Franky swaying around her little kitchen. I was propped up with pillows and covered gently on her couch unsure of what time it was or how long I'd passed out for... She looked so happy and had soft music playing in the living room. I smiled at her happy to see her content for awhile.

I sat up slowly, my head buzzing lightly with the after taste of wine on my tongue. I couldn't remember why but I had a sinking feeling that the hours before had been turbulent.

I flashed a smile at Franky and though: There's my girl. I felt warmth rise through me. Rough around the edges or not she made me feel so at home. I didn't know if that was a good thing or not but for the moment watching her pony tail flop up and down as she flipped eggs in her boxers I could only feel love for her.

"Ah Gidge you're up hey?!" She sauntered over to me and planted a tongue flicked kiss on my cheek before holding my face in her hands for a second too long and searching my eyes. I wasn't sure what she was looking for but I beamed back and she quietly handed me breakfast.

"Sleep well yeh? Its noon, but I wasn't gonna wake ya from yer wine slumber after we worked out all that heavy shit." She lifted her eyebrows holding a tiny bit of judgement in her scorn but calmly put away the bottle of wine in front of me before coming over and curling into my lap like a kitten.

I played with her hair softly and tickled the baby hairs on her neck. She squirmed slightly when my fingers hit her neck making slightly audible murmurs as she scrunched her never trusted anyone around her face or neck but I knew it was okay for me to push her personal boundaries from time to time and I knew she was willing to start breaking some of it down.

For a moment I mourned the plait she use to let hang past the rest of her hair but she'd cut it off in my bathroom weeks ago now and I knew it made her look more professional but a part of me was also having a hard time with her breakthroughs. I loved my job as a Psychologist and I loved that it had lead me to her and helped her but there were days when I wanted to keep her the scared little girl in the slot with the bad ass attitude that trusted me so completely because then at least I knew she was safer. Ironically, there was less I could do to keep her safe on the outside especially from herself. I had a hard enough time keeping myself in check...

She stirred in my lap and looked up at me. I realized we'd sat in silence for nearly a half hour and at that moment I was so glad she didn't have a problem with quiet moments. It spoke volumes to our relationship. I couldn't handle piecing together the truth. I loved her so completely and as I looked at her pursed lips and delicate dimples I saw only innocence. Her eyes were green and bold but slightly teary and i knew she could feel my tension. She was a complete entity of love and trust for me and that scared me more than anything ever had.

I traced her tiny hands and remembered how bloody and dirty she'd been, remembered her haunting my dreams shrieking "i'm not a good person!" and confessing without coming right out and telling me that she'd killed her mother... I swallowed hard and she sat upright beside me ridged and jerked her neck at my apparent apprehension.

I knew I needed to report it, but I couldn't bear to send her back there and with the investigation over Agatha Doyle's death still going strong the part of me that was so sickeningly desperate to protect her thought maybe I should just let it play out.

"Hey Franky?" I said sweetly

"Yeh Baby?"

"You still wanna visit Boomer?"

She stood up and straightened her shirt before nearly jumping into a pair of jeans wincing as the rubbed her raw leg. "Come on then ya old Lezzo let's go"

She called to me as she dangled the car keys and yanked on her black Converse. I smiled and thrust the blankets off of me before joining her at the front door. I pulled her in for a soft peck on the cheek before heading off to drop her at the Wentworth gates. She pulled me in turning my peck into a pash and placed dark sunglasses on my face.

"So they don't recognize you dropping me off ." She said. "Let's take my car. Best you don't get recognized, you start there again next week wouldn't wanna stuff it up for both of us."

I nodded and we headed off. I hoped Boomer would help give her some clarity. I knew she missed her like crazy and I hoped re-connecting with her might help Franky make some friends on the outside...

"Hey, you ain't still drunk are yeh Gidget?" She said licking her lips and shoving me lightly.

"No Puss, I'll get you there safe kay?" She smiled and ran her fingers up and down my thigh briefly causing warmth to rise up between my legs. "I never did like playing it safe." she laughed. I wiggled in my seat before starting up the car and pushing her hand back in her own lap. She snorted a little. "Fine then, guess I'll just play with me self!"

She winked at me and then straightened her stance from flirty to professional as we drove off and I swallowed my anxiety.


	25. Chapter 25

We rolled up to the gates of Wentworth slowly. _Something Bridget would soon have to face every week day._ The thought of it made me shudder. I felt the need to gag, or laugh, or squeak in anxiety as we got closer. It was like my skin was crawling away from me, or I had the worst itch I'd ever experienced and I knew I wasn't allowed to scratch it or it'd rip wide open. I cleared my throat repeatedly to keep my screaming in my head and away from my mouth. Bridget looked me up and down as I fidgeted and licked the rim of my mouth incessantly. She took me in.

"Franky are you sure you want to go in there? You look totally triggered..." She spoke slowly and softly but I could tell she was scared shitless herself. _We could be found out here, I could lose it inside and get locked back up... Boomer could lose it on me for not bothering to write or anything... I_ swallowed hard, suddennly very aware of every drop of spit pooling in my mouth.

Bridget rifled through her glove box and thrust a plastic bag in my direction. "Here, you look a little green Baby..."

I put my hand up and shook my head stiffly to gently let her know I was okay. "Got nothin to spew Gidge... Been hours since I ate." I sounded collected and convincing but I could feel bile burning the hairs in the bottom of my throat bringing with it the awful after taste of hours old black coffee...

"Hmmchh" I muttered under my breath trying to push everything back down, I wasn't about to throw up over seeing Wentworth... I'd been back here before. Spent hours sitting alone in the car park just trying to sort my thoughts, debating whether any of this was worth it or if I should just turn myself in for every thing I'd not been charged for and every awful image that played in my head at night as I suffered to dream of anything else.

"It's different when you have to go back inside the doors. It's a break through for you to want to be here Franky, but you don't have to do it today if yer not ready. Kay?" I bit my lip so hard it started to bleed when she spoke... _How did she know_

"Vera told me you'd been spotted her Puss, I know you come sometimes to sort it all out in yer head. Roght?"

I smiled at her and nodded. It still baffled me that in spite of everything she loved me so much... I loved her too but I wished I didn't some days. But for today I took comfort in her just being there.

"Mkay, I'm ready lets go." I stammered out between the upturned corners of my lips. I fought hard to hold my face still and stern and open my door with a bang. "I love yew Gidge, whateva happens don't eva forget that hey?"

She pulled the sunglasses from her eyes looking concerned and planted a motherly kiss on my forehead. "You'll be back Francesca, I'll be here for you. Be back in 35 minutes ok?" I nodded aimlessly. "You sure you don't need this love?" She whispered handing me the bag.

"Nup. If I throw up, they can clean it..." I coughed out picking up my feet and bolting toward the door with more purpose than I'd felt in awhile.

I walked in briskly. I had no interest in drawing attention on my way through processing. I already knew the process and Bridget and I had practiced the lines I needed to say to get through. They searched me 100 times more thoroughly than anyone else going through and because of my past the placed me in an isolation visitation cub but I made it through.

I picked at my nails in the dimly lit room trying hard to push back the memories of seeing my dad in the very same room. I blinked hard and wrinkled my nose at the memory. _"You're not even him anymore"_ echoed in my head and suddenly I was scared Boomer wouldn't be the same, or that she'd some how love me less...

I was staring into my lap when a tap on the glass sent me into slight shock. "OOO fuck Boomer you scared me shitless!" I chimed upon realizing she'd been the one to startle me out of my daze. "Mmm Yeh, its me..." She saiud coldly.

"Uhmmm mkay I was expecting a little more than that... " I was hurt. She looked so much more put together. She'd lost weight, her hair looked clean and well cut but she looked scornful and angry.

She spoke abruptly inches from the glass. "You're lucky I don't go fuckin bunta on you... It's been over 4 months Franky! Where have you been!" She hit the glass hard with a closed fist. I slouched back in my seat moving away from her fury.

I was overcome with emotion seeing her. She was terribly hurt. Again, by me... I put my hands against the glass as tears fell over my cheeks. I missed her like fucking crazy couldn't she see how hard this was for me?

But I got it... She felt abandoned, left behind here without me and thrown away. I got it, too much actually. Then she started to cry and put her hand out toward the glass as if to touch me and both of us lost the plot.

I sobbed hard banging my head lightly off the glass as she spoke through her tears. "I know you love her Franky, I mean. But would it fuckin kill ya to put some effort in somewhere else? I miss you, and I needed you. I want a bubby so bad Franks and I'm so alone here... God! I'm so alone..."

I was confused and frazzled at everything she'd just thrown at me but I tried hard to reach her, make her understand everything we'd been through. And then I played with fire, I spilled my guts about the murder of my mom, my new tattoo, living with Gidge, meeting up with my dad in secret, finding outr I had a sister I'd yet to meet everything! Shit I'd never even told Gidget regardless of everything being recorded... In that moment I needed my best friend back and making sure she knew I trusted her meant more than any of it.

She knew I was pouring everything on the line and I felt the tension leave my shoulders as she stopped crying and looked me in the eyes. "So you haven't changed. You're still the same Franky, the woman I love, My best mate. Thank you, I'm sorry I didn't write you either..."

"Fuck look at us? " I laughed. "We're both big sooks." The guard motioned from the window letting me know we had 5 minutes left. Boomer filled me in on the Conjegeal visits and her plan to have a baby.

I joked around with her to lighten her hurt over the whole predicament. "ahh yer just tellin me cuz you want me !" I winked. "I love you Franky but I don't wanna root you" She responded dutifully. "Yeh, whateva" I rolled off my tongue.

I felt amazing as I left. I promised I'd be back, I needed to see Bea too. I'd heard she was going off her rocker... I got 10 steps from the gates and nearly passed out from the pain in my stomach and vomitted all over my shoes...

"Fuck" I thought out loud. Bridget pulled up in my car minutes later handing me the bag for my shoes. We drove back in silence, my stomach and pride stinging. But, my chest wasn't heavy anymore...


	26. Chapter 26 Stella

A week had passed and despite her always slightly turbulent demeanor Franky had settled back into work nicely. We had done nothing to schedule her mother's burial yet, and the envelope still sat on the table collecting more dust than her psyche...

I had been re-instated at Wentworth and I was working hard to get transfers put through for 3 female prisoners from the facility I had been in prior. Maria Develd, Alora Miles and Stella D'Agostino... That was peculiar to me as I had purposefully tried to distance myself from Ms. Franky-Alike but it seemed she was bound to haunt me too... I tried to find a loop hole , some way to see if she could be moved out of Melbourne but somehow she was getting a large quantity of drugs in from an un-known source on the outside. This was the best way they could cut that off...

So I waited in my office sipping my ice tea that Franky had made me before work this morning. I saw two of the women I was having transferred for intake to be sure everything was going to settle well for them and then went for my lunch break. I got lost in the thought of Franky in her pant suit at work and had every intention of baiting her in front of the door with my low cut blouse that evening after work. It was so vivid in my mind I could swear I heard her click her tongue between her cheek and then I heard her giggle. My skin crawled as I looked up to the doorway of my office .

Her shoes were tied much tighter, and her teal pants hung slightly looser than I had remembered, but her fingers flicked fervently off her upper hip rhythmically like I only knew my bold babe to do.

I shuddered as our eyes met and I heard her laugh nervously before clearing her throat 3 times and fidgeting at my stare.

The uniform was striking for her eyes, and though they looked slightly teary they held a seriously eerie sense of purpose. I looked for her long dark lashes and her dark hair to frame her face, but after what must have been minutes of searching her Mousey little features and stopping my eyes on the lighter, thicker fringe she wore above her scrunched brow line I felt my knees go week as I realized who I was truly looking at...

I looked at the clock. 3:17pm and tried hard to think about what my Little Mouse would be doing at work; desperate for a distraction from the striking likeness in front of me.

"Stella for you Ms. Westfall." The guard to her right said bitterly as he and Miss Miles nearly dropped her in her seat at my desk. "She's a bit feisty this one." he scoffed.

Stella nearly cuffed him with the back of her hand but Ms. Miles shot her a look and she crossed her arms over her chest abruptly before blowing hot air toward me through firmly pursed lips only slightly less chapped than the ones I kissed everyday.

I grappled for some composure to start this session as the guards handed me her new Wentworth file and closed the door behind them. I had read it before but as I opened it this time I paid far more attention. She watched me run my fingers over her height, last name and finally her birthday before she spoke.

"You an Aquarius too doc?" she hissed. I cleared my throat in echo of her and spoke as slowly and steadily as I could muster but I felt the sweat bead up on my face as I tried to piece everything together.

"No. No I'm not." I choked out. She leaned in and took me in far more flirty than she'd ever addressed me in the past and I felt like in some way I was being played , like she'd been set up to manipulate me... All at once I wondered if sending her here had truly been in her best interest or if there was some sort of higher motive.

I pulled myself together realizing Stella was getting antsy. She was fiddling with the paperweight on my desk and chewing her inner lip. I looked at my paper and asked her if she was settling in alright.

She threw her arms up behind her head. "Security here is stupid toght. I can't fucking move wifout some screw writing about it and quite honestly the chicks in H block look at me like they want to start shit or something and I ain't done fuck all but sit in me cell ..."

I knew why they looked at her like that but I couldn't begin to help her understand it, or maybe she already knew she had a look alike... She blew her fringe off her face and stared at the clock. "How much longa do we have to do this? " She whined. Her tone was so much softer and more innocent and it helped bring me down from my cloud. I thought about trying to get her picture, something to show her to Franky and see if she knew anything but I knew I'd lose my job so fast if anyone found out and I already had so much on the line.

We went over the details of her placement, her duties at Wentworth and the expectations of her if she wanted contact with family members. She got un-comfortable around that subject and I shuddered wondering what exactly had set her off. She looked off, eyes seemingly glazed at the mention of her Father, Mother, and sisters on file. I realized she might be on some of the drugs she was importing... Something I'd never had to worry about with Franky _Damnit Bridget stop comparing..._ The clock chimed the end of our session and she stood up so quickly I barely had a chance to realize. She hung in the door way before being returned to her unit and whispered to me softly.

"Ya trying to undress me with your eyes Ms. Westfall?" She chuckled as I shook my head and adjusted my blouse. "I'm 29. I saw you trying to do the math in your head." She spoke so matter of factly and every hair on my body stood up when she told me her age...I had no idea how I was going to look Franky in the eyes when I got home...What the hell was going on

I packed up my stuff briskly, mentally comparing their features, their laughs, nervous tics in my mind and tried hard to find differences outside of their hair and muscle tone. I came up blank except that Stella's voice suggested she'd never smoked...

I was relieved I even made it home without crashing my car and wondered if Franky would be heading over here before going back to her place for the night. We'd been alternating to keep her place looking lived in even though she still spent far more time here.

I came up the stairs and saw her sitting there expectantly with a smug look on her face. She dragged me in the door before I could speak and pushed me hard against the wall breathing up and down my neck as she unhooked my bra.

"Franky what are you doing here? We can't, stop." She quickened her pace and flipped me around to face her. "I need to tell ya something Gidge." She said with me held hard against her chest and the wall.

All I could do was nod to let her know I want her to tell me what she needed to say. I waited for her to tell me about having a sister, a twin in fact somewhere forgotten in her family history but what she did say was eerier and I had no Idea what to say back.

"A little birdy told me you've got a thing for lady cops..." She laughed hard into my cheek before biting my neck.


	27. Chapter 27

She handled me like a rag doll which I would typically have been out of my mind for but the sweat dripping down my neck today was pure fear. I felt so out of control, I was genuinely starting to fear what my girl was capable of and how it might affect me. Hard as I tried I couldn't look at Franky and not see her slightly softer counter part... "I'm 29 I saw you trying to do the math..." Stella's words echoed in my mind.

"Hssssshhh " She breathed hard on my neck and traced her tongue up and down my shoulders nipping me hard at each bone she traced with her lips. I shivered and she writhed her hips bouncing slightly like she always did when she was aroused. I rocked her hips and kissed her softly, played like I wasn't interested so she'd get angry. I wanted her to punish me today, I knew that was psychologically fucked up but she loved me for it and at the moment love was seriously something I needed to feel.

She shoved me hard for my dis-interest and thrust a pair of hand cuffs on my wrists. "Boomer told me she saw you looking up cop shit on yer computer at work... You better watch that shit Gidge you don't want people thinking you flick yer self off at work." She licked her lips as she continue to cuff me and push me against the wall. My face hit harder than she intended and I yelped a bit. She didn't even flinch. Was she actually pissy?

I stood firm. Letting her have her way like I usually did but in a sudden spurt of frustration over the shit I knew she had to be hidding from me I bit back to her game. Hard. "You never had a problem with that when Erica did it... Or so I hear?!"

I watched her wrinkle every muscle in her face and breath out in a loud rasberry off her lips. She was full of fury now. "The Fuck Bridget!? You digging up old shit on me now?! hhheh?

She thrust her arms up over her head and literally knocked her high heeled boot into my shin so I had no choice but to bend my knees. Far past the point of her usual Dominance and I liked it more than I anticipated. Which scared me because in the moment I didn't even care that i hard actually upset her, possibly pretty badly.

She struggled to speak through her facial grimacing and when she did it flooded out like a violent gag. "Get up!" She screamed at me now basically stuck on my knees in front of her.

"I wanna fuck." She was cold, her eyes un-moving and I stood up slowly. She motioned with her neck and fingers to take off my own pants and then she tore my underwear off me stinging my skin as the shredded off my hip.

Blood trickled under her finger nails from the tiny cuts the lace had left on my skin. She shrugged her shoulders in a robotic way and shook her head like she was shaking away a flash back in her mind. Knowing her like I did, I figured that must have been exactly what she was doing.

She pushed her self inches from my face so that everything she said hit my lips with her spit. Her head jerked slightly with intensity through every word she spoke. Her motive was strong and un wavering. She wanted to intimidate me past our typical Sado-Masochist dance, and it was working.

She thrust her fingers into my core swiftly and I wasn't ready for this side of Franky anymore. I didn't know what she was going to do and I wanted to get away from it, feared I'd stepped over the line but in the same breath I wanted her to move in step with me, be inside of me. I swore it had been weeks since I'd felt her warm against me like this.

I tried to pull my cuffed hands over her thighs, ached to feel how warm and wet I knew she must be but I couldn't get them free. "Uh uh Gidget, you don't get to touch. Haha beg me to take them of I dare yeh."

"Franky, take them off..." I panted out. I felt like I was going to piss myself and I didn't think she'd appreciate that so I tried to reason with her...

"Franky I-I actually really need to pee." She looked at me like a kid in a candy store. If this was a kink of hers we'd certainly never discussed it. The psychology behind that thought fascinated me but I fought my mind and tried hard to remain her Girlfriend and not her Psych.

She took me in and flicked her fingers roughly off my clit . "Good." she said briskly

"Do it. Piss yerself."

I thought hard about my response wiggling in her presence and urgency. For the first time in likely her whole life someone told her "no" I told her "no" and she was having none of it

She put her left hand hard against my neck and kissed me against the wall with her other hand still between my legs. She pushed against me making it impossible to hold back my need to pee.. I squirmed at her force

She undid my cuffs and shoved my hand in her pants. "Go, Gidge please." She sounded small, suddenly child-like and I flooded the both of us with pleasure. She literally screamed into my chest as she collapsed with me down the wall. I held her giggling slightly at this new found kink and wondered why she'd never told me, maybe she hadn't known.

And I hugged her tight to my chest playing with her sweaty mess of hair for nearly 15 minutes before the urine on my legs started to sting and I began to try and push her up and off of me.

She seemed relieved, more controlled and like herself and I was so greatful for that, until she spoke...

"Who the fuck is Stella?!" I shuddered as she watched for my reaction and I knew very quickly we weren't okay...


	28. Chapter 28

The room was spinning and I couldn't seem to keep my eyes focused at all. I knew the feeling all to well and I thought for sure I was going to vomit... I thought about just laying still and letting it happen but I had no idea how they'd react to that here and I had no interest in being in the Slot so I hurled myself up as fast as I could and vomited my withdrawal into the tiny sink in my cell. I looked so pale and drawn in, much like my biological mother at least, the way I remembered her... it had been so many years since I left.

I was shaky and sweaty and I knew i needed to pull myself together before count or they'd know for sure I'd been using. I tried hard to push the memories from my head of trying to hide my drug use from Charlie and Lawson and what had eventually lead to my early dismissal and arrest. I thought about my sisters and how harsh it was to think about them going down the same path, but I had no way to prevent it, I didn't even know the baby... Only knew of her in the past 6 weeks and as for the other... We'd left on rough terms...

But I needed closure, and she may have made a mind block large enough to keep me out of her memory, but I had every piece of our child-hood on replay in my mind every time I was sober... I watched her run from mom and cower away waiting for dad, watched them place her in a completely separate foster home separated for the first time in our lives and then I got adopted. Gained 3 older brothers, cops and a strict, but loving family young enough in my life to mold me into the cop that I was proud to be before losing every lover I ever held close to me, my best friend and finally my job... and before I got arrested I learned about Franky too and how sorrowfully wrong everything had gone down for both of us. She'd always resented me for it and I knew that, why we'd not been placed together I will never know... If only she could see me now.

I'd started digging, it had been 3 days and already I had figured out where the stares were coming from. I befriended Sue Jenkins when she wouldn't stop staring at me with her mouth open like she'd seen a ghost. Finally i'd asked her why and we started to piece everything together. She was dumbfounded still every time she looked at me I could tell and that honestly bothered me quite a bit because I swore that Franky and I must look so different now but the inmates here could see what I obviously couldn't and for me it meant an equal dose of protection from women I barely knew and heartache as well left delicately to me by my sister...

"Franky!?" I heard a loud knock at my cell window. I barely moved toward the noise, my ears were ringing and I had no intentions of entertaining the mess my sister had left behind. We looked a like, but I was positive that's where it ended. I felt my face crinkle with the pound of the next knock and the door creaked open.

I sat up and stared at the short, young, Korean girl in front of me. She looked a mess, also obviously messed up on drugs far worse than I was, I took solace in that until she lunged toward me. "You came back! I knew you wouldn't leave me for long for that old fuckin slag!"

I think she could feel my confusion when she wrapped her arms around me and I looked at her stiffly. "Err hi, who are you?" I stammered out. She looked at me coldly searching my face and then grabbed my hands like she was searching for something... Markings? Scars perhaps and then when she didn't find anything she look at my eyes. "Who the hell are you?" She barked back. "Where the hell is my Franks?!" She looked so off her face I shuddered at the thought of what she was going to do to me... Without my gun I felt pretty powerless even though she was likely 20lbs and 5 inches smaller than me.

I extended my hand gently toward her. "I'm Stella." I said slowly "and I'd like to know just as much as you where Franky is..." She smiled and I could see that under neath the scabs on her face she had been beautiful and the way she looked at me longingly told me Franky must have thought so too... I knew I could use this to my advantage if I played my cards right. I winked at her and asked her name before breaking into a big cheeky smile. She enveloped me in her arms and I nearly lost my breath she'd squeezed so tightly.

"I'm Kim" She said matter of factly "And if you want to get dirt on Franky,you need to pester Bridget Westfall... That bitch knows, she thinks we're all idiots in here but when someone can prove it, bring that bitch down, she'll be locked up in here too and my Franks will be back for me..." She was scaring me truthfully, obviously far past the point of obsessed with my sister and fucked up over whatever happened... but Ms. Westfall's name stood out and I got shivers realizing she might be piecing everything together... I needed to make sure she kept her mouth shut until I was ready to see Franky myself.

I gagged down my pride and kissed Kim frantically and roughly before nearly throwing her down on my bed. She looked startled and slightly scared but she purred in submission and pleasure, and I knew I had her right where I needed her to be... Whether I could keep up the facade for long I wasn't sure but for the moment she was warm and pliable in my arms and to be truthful just having someone in them helped... we cuddled and she played softly with my hair as I teared up. "You've got to be twins..." She whispered. I nodded into her chest and she smiled at me. "You're so much softer Stella. I think that's a good thing..." I cringed a bit at that... She had no idea the things I'd done... No one did...


	29. Chapter 29

I was still spun from the high of fucking Gidget into submission but angry too... I loved her, but lately her prodding and mothering was going further than I was comfortable with and I wanted to keep things together but there were days I just couldn't pull the prison Franky out of my head long enough to replace her with the law firm Franky I was expected to be. I knew Gidge expected that, she helped me with that but she also covered my tracks and everything was hazy and staggered.

She spent her days slugging through Wentworth looking for me in other inmates... currently in Stella who's name haunted me so much but I knew there was no way it was my Stella.. _Right?_

Bridget had nearly ruined her career over me, I knew she wasn't stupid enough to mess it up for another inmate... especially if Stella was who I thought she might be... But Bridget was on her own path of self-destruction and her drinking was at a point that made me wonder if I was sleeping with a different woman than i came home with five months ago so I tested her, prodded her to see if I could make her bite. Analyze me, lecture me, fall back to herself and when she didn't I started to get my own style of destructive and it felt horrifyingly right to be back to the parts of myself I'd shrugged under the rug.

I taunted the adorable little blonde at work. She had rosy cheeks and had to be at least ten years older than me but she was as baby faced as they come and so tiny I swear I could have bench pressed her. But it was the smile, that smile that told me she was far more into me than i needed to drag Gidge along... But I played with her heart anyways and told Bridget the stories to appease her voyeurism when I made it home each night until shew rode me raw... But we weren't happy and I was spiraling further from the path she'd tried to right me many damn times.

"Hey Franky..." She whispered from on top of me feather light against my ear and on top for once..."Yeh Gidge whad'ya need Bub" She looked so sweet and content tonight and the look of her was so comforting it almost made me forget how fraught things had been between us... until she royally fucked up the moment. "The girl at work that you toy with , for-for our benefit." I scrunched my brows hard together at her tone, she was making me uncomfortable and I almost covered my ears because I knew she'd only be able to follow that statement with something I wasn't going to like. "mmm" was all I could manage as a response.. "She looks like Erica doesn't she?"...I threw her off of me. I'd never wanted to hit her so bad. "Fuck of Bridget!" I was drooling on myself i was so mad. "How fucking dare you!"

"Franky i'm sorry, I just kinda figured she must remind you of her cuz..." "Hhhhm Nuh! Bridget you know fuckin betta than to say shit like that!" I was so angry I could barely get words out through my need to scream aimlessly. "fff fucking hell what is wrong with you!? Hey? hitting the wine harder this week ya fucking alco!?"

"Franky! That's not fair I was just asking because I feel like maybe you're trying to fill-" I could feel the urge to smash something well up in me. "No-No fucking stop! Stop analyzing me Fuck! Bridget do you know how the hell to see me!? me-Not a fucking pet-project! or is that all I am to you?! Ya she fucking looks like Erica does that make ya happy!?"

I paced the end of the bed wiping the spit from my mouth as I tried to speak through my fluttering lips. I wrung my fingers through my hair searching for my rat tail wishing it was still there to fiddle with. A huge clump of hair came with it and I knew I needed something desperately to do with my hands and I knew as I looked at Gidge on the bed nearly in tears but trying to keep her composure if I didn't get away from her soon i might literally break her fucking jaw... I'd never felt that way toward her... Ever.

And then she stood up, dared walk toward me and put her hands on my face. I could feel my blood boil looking at her try to be my mother... I shook my head violently trying to stop the image of my birth mom flooding my mind... I watched her try to yank Stella away from social services while I stood there barely cared about and right now when I looked at Bridget all I could see was mum and what's worse I was pretty sure now that she was counselling my sister...

"Franky please! I want to help you but more than that I want to love you! don't you see that?" I put my hands up to shh her but she just kept talking so I made her stop. As forcefully as I could muster I pushed her hard against the bed with my hand cupped over her mouth. "Shut up-fucking shut up!" She went still and quiet quickly and I could see how truly scared she was. She looked at me like I was a monster and I instantly regretted it and let go. I rolled over into the fetal position and sobbed. I'd murdered two people but never felt so out of control as I did in that moment ...

The worst part was she still loved me, still trusted me. I felt her spoon me and start rubbing my back... This woman that had taught me how to trust, heard how I murdered Meg and knew that in some way I'd killed my mother... Held me through the sweat filled nightmares I faced and loved me... and I'd dared put my hands on her in haste. I felt like I could spew.

"Franky I'm okay Puss, you didn't hurt me. You got out of control but you stopped-that's a big step baby !" I couldn't believe her, how well she responded to crisis like this. Its no wonder she drinks I thought... and within five minutes I wanted nothing but to show her how much she meant to me. From bitter, cold anger to more love than I knew how to give. This was so fucking complicated. I wanted to curl up with a book in my cell and I hated that feeling. I'd worked so hard for this-we'd worked so hard for this and I had the nerve to dare and fuck with my freedom and hers. I couldn't stop my sobbing, my chin quivered so hard I could hear my teeth clank together and I couldn't even be bothered to try and stop it. I let her hold me terrified to bring her down as low as I was in that moment.

I rolled over and faced her, laid my face on her chest and just listened hard to the thumping of her heart and missed Liz, the only other woman to care even close to this much... and I'd nearly hurt her too... I refused to let that happen to Gidge I loved her so much but I was starting to think I needed to get as far away from her as possible, I had no idea how else I could protect her from everything we were hiding and everything still to come.

We held each other close for over an hour without saying a word and I battled my urge to pee just to stay still a moment longer but eventually I got up and went to the bathroom. Weirdly, she followed me, hung in the door way like she was afraid if she left me alone too long I'd snap... And I guess I couldn't blame her for that.

We both had to work in the morning, but none of that mattered right now. I dragged her by the hand to the kitchen table not even bothering to wash my hands... She sat and drummed her fingers lightly on the green table top as I poured us each a glass of white wine. I sat across from her soaking in the shock on her face. "I need it tonight too." I said softly. "I'm sorry... There are far worse vices you could have Gidge an I know that... I shouldn't fucking judge heh..." I lost the plot to my tears again and she nodded smiling. "Thank you, but you're roght Puss, it does need to stop being my crutch."

We held each others gaze and just sipped wine quietly for awhile and then she spoke. I studied her face, she looked tired and far more blue eyed than I remembered her. Her brown roots were showing and she had bags to match the crows feet by her eyes but she was stunning and in that moment I could see none of the pushy psychiatric crap she tried on me... I could only see her and that was far more grounding than I expected.

"I think that Stella might have some sort of connection to you... That's the only reason I have been paying her so much attention at work." I just lifted my brows at her questioningly and waited for her to continue. I knew she was waiting for me to tell her myself I had a sister (two to be honest but one I had yet to even meet... and that wasn't important just yet) but I just waited, I wanted to see how much she already knew.

She studied my face, I could see her picking apart my motions, searching me to see whether or not I knew where she was going with her query but I clamped down on my lips with my teeth forcing them to keep my secrets inside.

"Your sister yes?" She probed dangerously to see if I'd bite. After everything we'd been through tonight I submitted, she deserved a bit of peace tonight. "My twin." I said slowly and even saying it stung my lips slightly. I ached to see her, have a sense of togetherness with someone who knew a fraction of what I'd been through but even she couldn't hold a candle to it... She'd gotten out, been adopted and yet she'd still fucked it up it seemed, wound up right where I'd been and that thought sickened me.

My face must have hardened because Bridget scrunched her brows together in unison with me. Realizing it I let go of the tension building in my face and sat restful and patient so she could continue. "Why didn't you tell me?! Fuck Franky she's like seeing a damn ghost in those halls when I know you're safe at work or at home." She gave me goose bumps. Did Stella really grow up to still look that much like me? Why the hell was she there? I knew I needed to see her. "You need to get in and see her Franky. " I nodded at Gidge once again prying into my psyche so timidly. "We have to be fuckin careful Bridget." I hissed. "I know..." she barely whispered. "We always do..."


	30. Chapter 30

\- **-Things have gotten heavy and deep and so much fun to write! Thank you for reading I'd still love your reviews, requests, etc!-**

It was a super chilly Saturday morning in Melbourne and I was gussying up in front of the mirror before meeting with a contractor to discuss renovations to the new property Franky and I had just purchased. She was in the shower humming Tool songs while I rifled through paper work trying not to get eyeliner on each page as I flipped through.

Things had been a lot better. Franky had been doing so well at work she'd received a promotion and she'd been seeing Boomer regularly which was helping her stay grounded in "the real world". I was working my way back into Wentworth with ease although not without making some enemies and as for Stella... I could certainly tell she had realized who I was which for awhile had made her very distant but as Franky and I worked through what needed to happen to get them approved for contact I informed Stella of my intentions and she began to trust me again.

"Who are you to raise your finger! You must'a been out of your head" Franky sang loudly through the bathroom and broke into my thoughts, suddenly seeming un-appeased to merely hum. She startled me and I dropped my papers into the damp sink. "Fuck Franky!" She peeked her head around the shower curtain. Her hair and body were sopping wet and dripping on the floor but her smile was so flirty and genuine that as she rolled her tongue over in her mouth I couldn't help but soften. "Ahh Bub what'did ya do?" She sounded playful but I could see her slight concern in the furrow of her fore head. I picked up the slightly damp legal papers and shook them off waving them in her direction. She held her finger up to me telling me to wait as she shut off the water. I stood still tapping my foot lightly as I continued to style my hair and wait for her to get out.

I felt her step into shadow position behind me dripping water deliberately over my shoulder blades with her long brown hair. I shivered at the droplets spattering my neck hairs. She lightly turned me around to face her and pulled the papers from my hand and placed them on the toilet seat to the side of us. She chewed diligently at her lip and toyed softly with my hair before she spoke. "Have you thought at all about how yer gonna be calm and professional when its your turn to do a strip search with Stella?" I shuddered at the thought and looked deeply at her wondering where this was coming from. She laced her fingers in mine and looked back and forth between my eyes. "You guys were always on a sort of rotation yeh?" She waited for me to nod before she continued. "With Linda er Ms. Miles off on vacay you'll be a woman short... That'll mean it's gonna be you helping with the searches..."

My face must have drained of colour instantly because she started talking rapidly. "She got any visits scheduled? " I couldn't even speak, I just nodded rapidly overwhelmed by what she had just pointed out to me. I stepped a few feet from her and searched her face for an answer, I felt so trapped and alone-This is going to fuck it all up- I thought -We're gonna blow Franky's cover, I'm going to get fired and some how in this mix Stella's going to get fucked over too- "Fuckin hell Franky!" I breathed out hard between my words hoping she had a plan,..

"Shhhhh shhh Bridget hey, its fine alroght she looks near on exactly like me..." She raised her brows seductively and made a slightly arousal filled moan before pushing her hips forward as if to say : "look at all of this". I giggled at her lightly. She had such a way with lightening a rotten situation, but I wasn't naiive enough to think this was going to be simple, or that I'd be able to look at Stella the same way again. "Think you can handle looking at her without trying to get into those Teal Trousers all over again?! Haha! Is it totally narcissistic that I find that thought kinda hot?!"

She was being adorable in her attempt to quell my fears and I tried hard to reciprocate as she bounced lightly beside me grinning in satisfaction with herself but I was in a completely different head space. I stared at her dainty little toes and studied the unique points of her body unsure how unique they really were now... I noted her tattoos knowing they'd be original, followed her long legs up to her skinny but hippy torso and noted the mole beneath her breast and wondered if Stella would share such moles and markings...

Franky was still and quiet as a mouse outside of her usual little sniffles and facial twitches.I could tell she sensed my need to take her in and she solemnly embraced my need. I ran my fingers through her now natural brown hair that had grown beneath her once dyed black strands and knew it must be the exact same shade and texture as Stella's... She shivered at my gaze. "Damn Gidge your gaze is aggressive ya alroght?" She tried to joke but I couldn't break the purpose in my searching of her body. I ran my fingers one by one over her burns stopping on each knotch of her rib cage I couldn't help myself so I kissed each and every cherry blossom on every branch she had placed there to hold them... Her lips quivered as she understood and I could tell she was trying not to cry.

I looked her in the eyes holding her face tilted down slightly to meet my eyes. She traced my lips softly with her index finger and played and the edges of my smile while her own lips flexed gently three times at the corners.I put my right hand over the burns Franky had placed on her ribs herself an gently questioned her. "Does Stell..." She cut me off with her vigorous nodding "Yes... She's burned too..." She was no longer playful, I could see the hurt in her eyes and I pulled her now nearly dry body hard against my chest and hugged her tightly.

I wept into her shoulder overwhelmed by the thought of a mother being able to burn her children, her own flesh. I could feel how cool Franky's body had become as all the steam had cleared from the bathroom and she still stood naked in my arms, but I was determined not to let go of her yet ... She needed to know I was there and that we'd figure this out, all of it. She wasn't on her own anymore and Stella wouldn't be either... Franky pulled away abruptly and nearly yelled at me to get my attention. "You can do this Bridget, snap out of'it !" She'd certainly broke my focus but in that moment all I could think of was my own daughter ... I walked out of the room closing her inside to go and be alone for awhile leaving the woman I loved so desperately to absorb my own brokenness by herself yet again.

I no longer gave a shit whether we made it to our meeting with the contractor. I broke out a bottle of dry, red wine from the fridge and poured a heaping glass while I waited for Franky to come out dressed and judging before me, but I didn't care about her reaction, or the fact that it was 11am and I hit the bottle hard...


	31. Chapter 31 Tess Doyle

It was more than an hour before Franky finally came out and joined me in the kitchen her eyes fixed on mine. She moved slow and soft and she sat to the right of me nearly perched like a parrot at the edge of her seat looking flighty. I was 3 glasses of wine in and feeling hazy so I prompted her against my judgement. "What's up baby?" I charmed reaching out for her tiny hands and holding her tight around her scared knuckles. "You look like you need to tell me something."

She was overly fidgety and dressed in a soft green blouse with black pinstripe pants on. Not her edgy self, but rather professional and then I remembered we were supposed to go and close the deal on our new property... I had fucked that up for the day but somehow I could tell that wasn't what this was about... She looked calm but yet, not fully herself and I waited patiently for her to speak breathing in her sickeningly strong tobacco smell. She must have been on the balcony for over 45 minutes smoking ... She broke my thoughts and leaned in closer to me.

" The night I-I went to mum... I blacked out after, had no idea where I was when i woke up. I was cold and dirty and in someone's garden..." My jaw was hanging open involuntarily because i was in such shock that she was even bringing any of this up but I listened carefully and tried hard not to look too alarmed as I could tell I was making her uncomfortable. She rubbed her face rapidly by her nose and sniffled as she waited for me to gain my own composure.

She didn't wait for me to sit still or show signs of readiness this time, she just plodded on seemingly determined to spill her heart out. "He found me Gidge, I tried to run off on him, and I did for the night... But he followed me, refused to take my abhorrence to him and eventually I let him talk to me... He helped me, I stayed with him those two nights. Refused to get changed, shower, eat nothing, but he held my hand... he listened for once in his fucking life!" She was visibly very upset at this point and spitting on herself between panted breaths. I pushed aside my own issues and held her hand myself hard and wiped her eyes. She scrunched up her face coarsely at my touch but I knew she needed me there whether her nerves agreed or not.

She struggled hard to speak between her near-hyperventilating but after a couple of minutes gained enough control of her voice to speak with minor squeaks between her words. "I finally decided I'd had enough yeh, that maybe even when ya finally found out what-what I'd done, what I was, you'd still take me back-er try to fix me, try to love me, as much as I resent that at times and so I tried to go back home and then he told me about Tess...I was so mad Gidge! so fuckin mad at 'im I almost killed him too! How dare he not tell me yeh? I was so done with him I stormed out... Came home to you like I did, held onto all of it, nearly fucked this up too." She said gesturing with her hands at the air between us. "But I ain't keepin secrets anymore Gidge you need to know this shit or we're never gonna make it through nuh none of it." Her lips were quivering hard and I wanted to open my arms and hold her against me but I knew she wasn't finished and i didn't dare interrupt her.

"So I waited, I waited a long time holding it under my chest ready to explode 'till I got that fuckin death certificate and I had to see her, had to see this baby I'd never known because it wasn't her fault hey? that her parents were fucked up and her sistas were criminals...But I could barely stand to think he'd fucked her another time at least to make her and that hurt... It hurt more than him leaving... but I went for Tess..." She re-positioned herself in her seat a few times and threw back a guzzle of wine straight from the bottle. I held my hands tight together still as quiet as I could be so she wouldn't clam up, have a chance to think I was judging her. I just nodded to say : "and...?"

Then she looked directly at me. "Once I found out you were getting to know Stella and-an I knew for sure it was me sista... I had to know Tess..." I started to cry, I couldn't help it, it was all far too much to take in at once. "I'm sorry Franky, I just..." she put her hand gently on my lips and played at them softly with her ring and middle finger. "it's ok Gidge I understand." she smiled sweetly and waited for me to be ready.

"We met at the park Gidge, an she's 3... she's 3 years old." She cried softly but kept pushing through, more determined than I'd ever seen her to get something out. "Does she look like you baby?" I asked softly. "A bit. More like her mum than me cuz thank the fucking gods for her I was wrong Gidge, she's got a mum of her own..." I heaved a heavy sigh of release when she said that. I had no idea until then how much I'd been holding my breath.

I smiled at her so deeply, I couldn't believe something so beautiful was coming of all this hardship. I held her hands and kissed her cheeks softly, motherly but full of a lover's passion and then there was a hard knock at the front door. Every hair on the back of my neck stood on end. Franky was so startled her bottom lips tore slightly from her clamping down. "Gidge who the fuck is here fer ya on a Saturday?" She whispered looking around.

There were still very few people I trusted to know about Franky and I especially now that I was working at Wentworth again. I walked to the peephole to find out. "Its Vera..." I hissed as I motioned for Franky to get lost. "Fuck Bridget!" she cursed as she tripped over the carpet heading to our bedroom. She closed and locked the door as quickly as she could nursing her slightly rolled ankle. I prayed she'd keep quiet and opened the door.


	32. Chapter 32

The mattress was hard in most places but too soft in others and to be honest it didn't provide much in terms of beauty rest... but I'd spent many nights on floor mats with only one blanket in foster homes that should have never made code and years of my life passed out on various hard surfaces wiping the coke trail from my nose and the vomited liquor from the sides of my mouth before dragging myself to work... so by now, however many weeks I'd been in _I couldn't even say for sure..._ This bed felt quite homey as I awoke ...

I was awake but I refused to get up yet. The weeks were long and I felt like such an intruder here... So many women desperately missing my sister expected me to stand in her place now that she was gone and though Bridget and I were keeping it as quiet as possible, I expected the Governor Miss Bennett was very aware that I was connected to Franky considering she'd even put me in her cell... and that was going to potentially pose serious trouble when it came time for me to visit with her, or try to but Bridget was handling all that...

It was a dance I'd dealt with for ten years of my childhood, constant comparisons between us from our parents, our friends, our teachers etc. we were so alike in the flesh but I was very different from Franky as a little girl. She was softer, trusted easier and was so eager to please ... I was more cautious, filled with brute force and more interested in physical sports... I suspected that changed as we grew older and grew apart because based on what I was hearing she'd become known for her force, her violence and her wit... So maybe I could draw a line between the similarities after all but it had been almost 20 years...Surely the ex-cop turned convict in me still held more dominance than my sister the cowardly cook... But whether or not that was true; at the time my competitive nature convinced me that was the case ... but whatever the reason I remain convinced it kicked my survival instinct into hyper drive and my desire to see my sisters drove me even more to get through my sentence. I smiled at the thought of Tess and Dad and wondered if I'd ever be able to think of Franky that way or if she'd ever make things right for herself with Dad...

I'd heard all the stories by now, what Franky had done, who she'd been with and how she'd risen to the top and fallen before climbing back with Bea who was currently losing every bit of respect she had... and to be honest I ached for her, enjoyed her company . We naturally clicked, like we'd been friends for years...I suspected her relationship with Franky had a lot to do with that... But I knew her thoughts on drugs in the prison and even though she was barely hanging on to her position as top dog, I was certain I needed to keep it on the down-low that not only was I still a user but I had a fantastic supply of drugs coming in and out of these walls daily that rivaled my sisters weekly work in a day... and I was doing a great job of keeping the women quiet until Kim lost her cool...

I'd expected so much back lash from Bea, the great protector of the women and Governess over any drugs in and out which for her was always meant to be none but when she'd found out they were back and Kim had lagged on me for constantly shutting down her attempts to make me her new Franky past my first week in here, she did nothing. Literally, nothing. We remained friends and more shockingly, she wanted in on the drug trade, but only if we started working with Franky...I had no idea how we were going to swing that, but Bea was convinced I could work Bridget over, get connected enough with my sister and the rest would fall in our laps. I'd get to connect with Franky, Bea would get to connect with Franky again, we'd both have something to do and money to spend and most exciting I'd get a run at Ms. Westfall for my own reasons. without screwing things up for Franky, I hoped anyway.

I felt my lips twitch with my fingers as I curled them in and out and side to side thinking of what Bridget would do with me if I let her... The thought drove me wild and I didn't know why but I'd always had a thing for reckless blondes and I suspected her over-professional attire and demeanor with me that suggested she'd already undressed me with her eyes a thousand times had something to do with it. Did she already know what to expect? I came to a climax quickly and lay in my pleasure thinking about how similar Franky's body must be to mine and whether that was going to drive Bridget wild tomorrow. I pulled my hand out of my underwear and forced myself to get up and get ready for the day with a smile firmly plastered on my face.


	33. Chapter 33

I paced my office staring at my phone. It had been 3 days since I'd heard from Franky and I was getting more and more worried... _Last time she did this she killed someone_ I waited and stared at the clock knowing I needed to pull myself together because I was going to have to see Stella off to meet her Adoptive brother and do that dreaded strip search...And then the phone rang

"Hey, uhm is this-er Franky's partner?" He sounded so awkward . I could hear the familiar stutter of nervousness in his voice and I ached hard for My Girl... "Yes, its Bridget. Do you... Do you know where she is I'm worried." There was a big pause. "Mr. Doyle?" I responded into the emptiness. "S-sorry I just, you sound older than I expected... uhm no offense" I cleared my throat at his remark... "But uhm she always did like an older woman..." He rambled off. "Mr. Doyle, do you know where she is? I'm worried about her well being to be honest."

"Yeh, yeh she's uh. She's been here a lot. Tess has been needing her support cuz her mum and I are seperating. So Franky's been there for her. ya know as a big sister..." He trailed off waiting for my response. "Oh...I had no idea I'm sorry to hear that Allan. Is she okay? Tess I mean?" I felt obligated to ask though I was far more concerned with whether Franky was ok and where she was. I stared at my clock knowing I'd need to get Stella in less than ten minutes. "She's doing ok" He said "But Franky... Her and I had a bit of a falling out and if I know her at all... well you know what she's capable of better than I do..." He trailed off. "Do you know where she is?!" I nearly yelled at him. "No, I was hoping you would... She left last night and I thought you needed to know." He spoke slowly and clearly and then he hung up before I could say anything. FUCK! I thought throwing my papers off my desk i frustration. Then I heard a familiar tongue click. I threw my head up so fast looking for my Puss...

Her fingers flicked imaginary tears from her eyes and she sniffled loudly before making a slight squeak to fill the silence. I looked up to find her green eyes and I surely did but as she darted them toward me I looked for a fire in them that wasn't there. Just as beautiful, just as full of danger and spark, just as green and teary but not mine... Stella smiled nervously. "They sent me to come get you for the search Ms. Westfall "she said looking at me and the papers on the floor with an eerie sense of understanding.

I adjusted my blouse and fiddled a bit with my hair trying to look -er- young and more presentable than I felt as I collected Stella and lead her with Mr. Jackson down to the strip search room. She felt noticeably ridged at my side and looked burnt out... Like she was coming down from a heavy high. I doubted there were drugs coming in through Bea Smith's watch, but If she was anything like her sister... I knew it was absolutely possible. She smiled at me nervously and I resisted the urge to touch her cheek wondering if she'd scrunch up like Franky always did...

I shook the thought from my mind feeling perverse for wondering things like that about my Baby's sister... I felt nauseous I was so confused by what was going on. The corridor felt endlessly long and I could tell Stella felt the same. She cleared her throat repeatedly and darted her tongue over her bottom lip staying silent. Will was somber and professional not meeting either of our eyes, strictly business today like he sensed the tension too. We opened the door to step in and upon Vera-er- the Governor's orders he left me to do the search alone...

We shuffled in and I tried hard to keep my mind on Stella and be as respectful to her as I possibly could be. I felt my phone vibrate in my pocket and I ached to know if it was Franky, but i knew better than to check. Stella touched my shoulder. "Bridget, check if its Franky, its ok I'm not in a rush to see ma brotha he's kind of a dick slash" she said laughing nervously. I must have appeared pretty confused because she filled my silence. "I got a call from dad, well Allan wondering whether I'd heard from Franky and considering you can barely look at me today I thought yeh probably hadn't heard from 'er either...So check yer phone now I'm worried too..."

I shook my head dismissing her. "Stel she'd call me not text... It's okay I want you to have time to see your brother." I said sweetly. She pursed her lips at me shrugging her shoulders before she started slipping off her socks. I looked to her dainty little size 7 feet and painted blue toenails trying not to smile as she worked her hands to the top of her pants and started pulling them down.

I watched her unlace her trousers and slink them off her long olive tone legs in one swift motion. She stood there for a minute in her plain white undies and looked at me waiting for me to look her over. "Like what you say Bridge?" She said slyly and I shuttered at her choice to short form my name. I just rolled my eyes at her as I looked her tattoo-less legs up and down shocked by the plainness of her choice in panties.

I expected her to wink at me or something cheeky as she pulled off her shirt but her face just mirrored the pain that must have been in my eyes as I saw her burn marks. I physically gasped. I thought I was prepared but I absolutely wasn't I started to tear up and longed to touch her. Not distracted by her beautiful Franky-like breasts or her stunning angel wing tattoo... No I hurt for her the way I hurt for Franky and suddenly I was glad their mother was dead and that feeling was removed her bra and undies and looked her over professionally only paying slightly more attention than I normally would as she bent over obediently in front of me in a way I knew Franky never would...

I finished the search calmly feeling strangely relieved by how beautifully alike and yet stunningly different Stella's body was. I noted the identical mole under her right breast when I noticed the camera move... We both flinched. Stella continued putting her clothing back on scrunching half her face as she pulled her shirt back over her head. "Can that thing pick up sound?!" I almost laughed at her Newbie-ness showing but matter-of-factly said "No, just video." She bit her lip as she put her pants back on. "The governor... I think she's trying to set me up, I'm not sure how or why... I just feel it often and that fucking camera just moved Bridge... You got any beef with Ms. Bennet?" All the hair stood up on the back of my neck as Stella mentioned the governor. "Fuck. Vera" I said out loud completely unprofessionally. "Bridget, Bridget what?" She whispered quickly. "Nothing Stella, thank you. I will get to the bottom of it, go see your brother and find a way to contact me discretely if you hear from Franky..." She nodded. "Like-wise." She said as I bolted out staring down at my phone as I went. It was lit up and on the screen was a messaged from My Girl. Not a call, a message. "I'm not okay. Gidge, where are you? I need to know you are, I need that grounding please?" I started to sob as I walked to the Governor's office knowing I needed to be dismissed for the day. -What has she done?!


	34. Chapter 34

I could feel the sweat running down the back of my neck and pooling under the baby hairs beneath my bun. My hands were shaky with apprehension about how I'd handled myself with Stella and why she made me so damn nervous as well as horrified that I'd accidentally ignored a call from Franky. I tried desperately to call her from my car but after 7 calls I resigned to sending her a text messaged. "Fuckin Hell Franky!" I yelled into my hands as I struggled to text her ;" No baby I'm not fine... Where the hell are you pick up."

I felt my head fall back against the seat as I thought about where she could possibly be.. ached to feel her warm beside me toying with the corners of her lips, dimples finding their way upon her cheeks as she smiled and taunted me the way she did best. I felt myself get wet with the thought all the while feeling my chest tighten wondering about her safety... I thought hard about her body, tried to remember every detail so I could make it feel like she was sitting beside me, or rather outside the window smoking while I waited to drive her home but I couldn't fashion the image in my mind clearly and worse I kept mixing in the bits and pieces of her body with Stella's in my head...

I could hear their voices "Heya Gidge" "Hey Bridge nioce ta see ya" and the flip flop in my mind was so confusing and horrifyingly arousing I was nearly panting. I looked at my phone in my lap another time hoping she'd responded but there was nothing. I wiped the sweat from my neck and sat staring forward looking at Wentworth wondering where in the hell I'd gone wrong and what Vera was trying to pull pushing Stella in my face... She had to know... and Stella was too smart for her to fuck with... " _you think I'm smart do ya?"_ Franky's words echoed in my mind as I thought about Stella and the thought of them safe together was more than I could handle.

I could literally feel my heart racing with the pulse of blood in and out of my throat, and the muscles tightening and releasing in my Clitoris. I'd never longed for something more than I longed to have my girl back now... well not in a long time anyways... and Stella's stunning similarities were far too much for me to resist. Against every thread of will power I gave in to mind cheating with Stella in the parking lot of Wentworth Correctional center and I literally couldn't give a shit who heard or saw me.

I crept my fingers into my trousers slowly stopping above my underwear to look out my window and check for passers by. _You want me to be aroused by Stella Vera?! Fine, fuckin fine!-_ I thought as I looped my middle and ring finger into Franky's lucky undies _So much for fucking lucky!_ I thought as I toyed at the entrance to my cervix. I closed my eyes and started to flutter my fingers rhythmically as I filled my mind with the facade of my Franky and her counterpart as though they were propped beside me in the seat of my car...

I imagined Stella's hair half down and half up tied loosely with a red elastic to match her red and black striped t-shirt gently tucked beneath her grey, open vest and tight blue jeans that hugged her hips all the way down to her tiny little feet. She was leaned forward from the passenger seat sucking softly on her finger tips and looking at me intently. She smiled through her fingers and I shuddered. I could smell her... she was sweet like she'd indulged in a pound of milk chocolate before I'd picked her up and I smiled and sped up my fingers at the thought. I could feel her drape her hair over my open blouse in the driver's seat nudging Franky beside her to fill in the space she'd left in the passenger seat...

Franky slinked into the car nearly wrapping herself around her sister. Her eyes held a fire behind the green hue they flickered with. Slightly blurred with tears and hurt but far more full of love and passion. Her tongue traced her chapped bottom lips fervently as she flicked her fingers around Stella's neck and down my spine. I writhed and arched my back at the thought of them both touching me together. Franky draped us in a light cloud of smokey peach smell as she breathed out with pursed lips. "Hey baby..." I sighed "how nice of you to join us". She cocked her eyebrows pointedly before nearly sliding into Stella's lap so they were both inches from my face. The thought was so vivid I swore I could feel the weight of them on my lap.

Franky's arms held me tighter, more full of genuine love and straight up muscle. Her plaid dress shirt was only holding her breasts in with two buttons that Stella helped me unbutton. I trailed my free hand down Stella's pants as Franky did the same to me. We moved slowly together stickied by the drumming of experienced fingers and mutual satisfaction. Franky pushed Stella out of the way who resisted calmly content to toy with herself beside us as Franky worked her way beneath the steering wheel to place her face in my lap. I watched her unlatch my fly with her teeth as Stella and I were reduced to nothing but moaning and she tongue fucked me until i was numb and screaming.

She blew hot air over my clit laughing to herself and wiping off her wet lips. "Yer too easy Gidge! Fuck I'll never tire of this..." She said as she struggled to catch her breath. My knees were wet where her crotch had been pushed against them and Stella could barely keep her eyes open as she wrinkled her nose and tried to calm her own breathing.

I shook hard with pleasure and climaxed a third time in sync with Stella as she kept up with my pace. Franky stopped to touch my face and wipe her mouth on my inner thighs. "My turn Spunky? " she asked softly. Stella and I nodded as I pulled her into my lap. "Bridget! Bridget!" I heard my name being screamed loudly and I smiled at the appreciation until I thought about it...

 _Bridget? Neither of them call me that.._ I looked hard at Stella but she was no where to be found. My skin prickled with goosebumps as I realized I was no longer toying with Franky either and I remembered where I was... I jumped at the knock on my window and open my eyes with a start hand still soaked in my pants. "Bridget?!"

I blinked hard pulling my pruney fingers out of my pants and trying to place the face at my car window through my daze. I pulled myself together remembering everything slowly and starting to re-worry about Franky and how Stella's meeting had gone. -Shit Bridget roll down the window- I thought and with a full body quiver said "Oh, hello Vera..."

She stared me down sternly like she was trying to figure out if I was out of my mind... which, to be fair I understood. "I thought you'd gone home? Franky's been arrested... I didn't think they'd bother to tell you so I figured I should..."

I stood up so quickly flinging the door open in her face and sprinted toward the prison doors. "Bridget!" she screamed after me. But I just kept running.


	35. Chapter 35

I watched them bring her in, arms flailing and jerking with 4 guards on her at once just to keep all 135ish lbs of her retrained. She pulled hard biting any finger close enough to her mouth grunting and grimacing her face which I couldn't help but mimic as we caught each other's glance. She looked horrified when she saw me, like seeing a ghost which seemed to help the guards settle . However, I watched her slump hard into a chair and knock out and I knew they'd already sedated her...

I watched from the waiting now completely tuning my brother out, not that he even noticed... He was always keen to talk over me anyways. I had grown up the only girl in a family of brother and I loved that, but now all I could think about were my sisters and life together we'd been robbed of. How much more stable would Franky be if she'd been adopted with me? Mum and dad would have loved her I'm sure... But Fuck, was I really any better? I thought as I watched them drag her down to solitary. I need to get back there, I thought . Maybe Bridget could find a way to do that... "Stella?! Stella!?" "MMM" I responded to . "Sorry Smiles I was off in space I guess, ha!" I snapped back to reality and said good bye to Anthony;my brother. I had heard stories about Smiles' connections on the outside and how she worked with the girls and helped them out. Maybe I could ask her to do me a favour...

We walked the hallway bak to my cell and for the first time it seemed as though was really looking at me, like she was trying to conjure up what to say so I filled in the blanks for her rather pointedly. "Franky's my twin sister Linda... Nobody really knows that because we haven't seen each other in 19 years... but, biologically we are identical..." I watched her jaw drop open as she contemplated what I'd just said to her. "So .. wait how?" We were nearly at my cell so I just whispered to her before I went in slowly. "I was adopted... She wasn't so lucky" Linda nodded trying to put everything together in her mind. I started to close the door but then I remembered. "Smiles... Can you help me out?"

"Maybe Stell, what do you need?" She quietly mouthed back. "I want you to slot me... and then I need to be evaluated by Ms. Westfall." She raised her eyebrows with curiousity and as the spoke the corner of her left lip turned up at the side. "I can't slot you without a reason Stella..." I Smiled and laughed nervously "I fucking know that!" I screamed throwing things off the side of my dresser and trusting them toward her. "Stella! Stella stop!" She shouted dodging the projectile toothbrush, toothpaste, pads and anything else I could throw at her. I screamed until my face ticked hard and my neck jerked robotically at the force behind my words. "NUP! Fuck off Smiles! " I screamed. "Stella you need to calm down " she said trying to gain composure. I truly felt bad for putting her in danger but I had no other choice. I back up slowly wiping drool from my mouth and dug under my mattress. "Stella, Stella? Doyle! I mean D'Agostino ! What are you doing?!" She yelled questioningly.

I giggled loudly at her accidentally calling me Doyle, it had been forever since someone had done that. I felt so at peace thinking about getting to re-meet my sister after all these years as I solidified my trip to the slot but pulling out a tiny purple balloon and busting it over my left hand. "Wait Stella fuck! Stop" She moved quickly toward me but I snorted it hard up my nose getting Cocaine powder on the both of us with her now grappling to get rid of the evidence. I sniffled hard repeatedly as she pulled my hands behind my back. I kicked and bashed my head into her determined to get dragged off with a bang now feeling delightfully buzzed. "Let's go." She said pointedly as she dragged me to the slot. As she locked the door I whispered softly to her "You memba what I said yeh?" She nodded. "I will get Ms. Westfall in tomorrow as soon as she's back." And the door slammed shut.


	36. Chapter 36

Everything was so blurry, like I was on a heavy trip and my eyes felt like lead. I rolled over in the hard, but familiar bed and tried hard to make sense of where I was. Unable to even open my eyes. I scratched at the inherent itchiness above my brow line and listened hard to the dim sounds I assumed were coming from the bright light I could see through my eyelids above me.

My pants were damp and my legs stung with the urine I was certain lay crusted on them. I could tell I'd been drugged, sedated in some way... A feeling far too comforting and familiar. The room reeked of my sweat, blood and piss but I could feel myself coming back, slowly but surely. I heard myself sniffle loudly twice but I couldn't feel my face move with it and it confused the fuck out of me. I grunted and rolled over trying to piece everything together in my head. Where the fuck am "Franky, can you hear me?" I nearly jumped out of my skin. Maybe it wasn't me that had sniffled...

I shuttered open my eyes only to be overcome by the overwhelming need to scrunch them shut again in one tight, swift motion. "hmmmphh" I moaned realizing my body stung with contorted, bruised muscles. "Fuck me hey? Who's there?" I rasped directing my voice at the grate in the wall.

I heard her clear her throat and shuffle close to the grate. My eyes were wide open and instantly I realized where I was. "Fuckin slot... really?" I pushed my arse up as close to the wall as I could on the floor and whispered through the grate realizing who I was talking to. "Stella? " I questioned pointedly. "Yeh Franks, it's me... Are you okay?" She sounded concerned and shy but it was the last thing I wanted to hear in her voice. "What the fuck is that supposed to mean?! and why the hell are you in the slot Stell ? Doing Blow I reckon hmm!?" I could hear her blow air out of her lips and sigh. I held my lips taught and bit the inside to hold them in position so I wouldn't mirror her. I'm my own fuckin person...

"Yeah actually, but I only got slotted for making a scene... I got thrown in here on purpose Franky I needed to know you were okay..." I cut her off. "Stell I don't need you checkin up on me , I can take care of meself. Did four fuckin years in here 'memba? How the hell are you fairing anyway miss hand of justice herself...I know you've been getting visits from the blow fairy." She was alarmingly still and quiet. I filled the silence clicking my tongue while I waited.

"You connected Bea didn't ya...?" She sounded hurt. "yeah. She called me when she realized who you were. She was pissed you wanted her in on the drugs Stell... I told her I'd handle it. didn't want you on any laced shit... didn't want you on anything but hmmm I know you're Ms. Crooked Cop herself so... I helped. I hope you're fucking happy. I'm already facing a shit load of possible time and now I might go down for your drug connections too since you've been slotted!"

She spoke quickly tripping over her words like I did when I was angry but she just sounded torn up inside. "They won't know Franky I..."

"What kind of TR cop are you Stell?! Hey, you're my fucking twin sister and they know I'm the King fucking Pin for getting drugs into Wentworth. Don't you think they'll figure that shit out? Or are you so off your face you've lost ya fuckin head?!"

I heard her breathe in hard against the grate. I'd hurt her feelings but if I knew her at all she wasn't going to let it knock her down. We were far from identical in nature but she held enough of my essence for me to predict her pretty well.

"Franky I put my fuckin neck on the line for you! I saw you come in here, struggle to get loose from the 3 guards at your side and I knew what you'd done cuz fuck I was close to doing it myself... I wanted to know you again Franks... Fuck I'm here too. you thought I had everything but I just fucking looked like I did. I'm fucking here too Franky! And Bridget is aching for you... she looks at me like I should be something so much more than I can be, and Boomer and Kim... and who am I here? hey!? no one... a fuckin ghost of you. So fuck off okay?! fuck off."

I heard her swallow hard and then she fell silent. I didn't really know what to say. I picked at my leg tattoo wondering if I could rip the Inmate number wide open... I needed to feel something, but I knew Gidge would be by soon and I hated the thought of her finding me here, especially bloody... but Stella stopped talking and I felt awful... So I started picking at it anyways.

Hours passed and Stella and I were eerily quiet. I heard her humming softly and occasionally I'd hear her sniffle or clear her throat but we didn't speak. She was mad at me and likely just as sore and tired as I was... by the sounds of it she'd put up nearly as big of a fight as I did being put in here. I wondered if the guards had figured it out yet, seeing us together, some conspiracy theories had to be circulating and the thought fuckin sickened me. I picked at my bloddy thigh tracing the blood around the windowsill near my scraped in initials. _How the fuck am I back here... Gidge I'm sorry-oh fuck I'm sorry._ I held my head in my hands and lay my head in the windowsill desperately wishing I was at home in her arms. I worried about Tess too and how she must be feeling knowing her sisters she'd just gotten to know were both behind bars... If only she knew how badly I wished I could go back.

"Franky... Franky are you okay?" I sniffled hard wiping my mouth of the drool that had accumulated there. I tried to answer her but I couldn't stop the tears long enough to tell her I was sorry and that we'd both be ok, but she spoke instead.

"Franky I'm sorry, but listen... Smiles is gonna get Gidge in here to see me she promised she would and I know she'll go to you first the moment she realizes..." She spoke slowly and calculated and I could tell she was working hard not to reduce herself to tears too.

"St-Stell..." I stammered "Fuck, I'm sorry I'm a fuckin mess..."

"Me too ..." She trailed off. I could feel the lump in her throat as it rose up from my own chest. I hadn't felt so united with her in 19 years...

"I'm sorry... I know you're trying to help... and I'm sorry you're here, sorry you have to live this fucking life too... I fucked up, really bad this time and I'm pretty certain they'll have me behind these bars for life if they can swing it... so please, please promise me when you get out you'll look after Gidge for me... "

"But Franky I..."

"Stellar please... I need to know someone will be there."

She started sobbing and I could picture her nodding her head. "Come over to the grate." I did as she asked and heard her breathe out hard against it. "Its good to hear you voice sis..."

I choked back a nervous fit of laughter and picked at my upper lip. "You too Stell, you have no idea... Fuck I'm so sorry."

I sat by that grate for hours just listening to her breathe. I could tell she'd fallen asleep and I wished I could join her in that. She sounded serene but I was terrified to close my eyes... _I'm not a good person! I'm whoever i need to be...oh fuck..._ Awful thoughts somersaulted in my mind. i shook my head hard enough to make me dizzy and when I pictured Meg's blood on my hands I was able to dismiss it but the flowing blood pooling on my hands from picking at my leg was becoming so much i thought of mum and I heaved at the thought. I was so distraught I didn't even bother to get up. I tucked my head forward and spewed in my lap. Blood, sweat, vomit and piss mixed together in my lap and I swore I felt more dead inside than I ever thought possible... and then I saw her eyes filled with hurt looking through the window in the door as though she was scared to open it.

I heard Stella gasp but she kept quiet. She had obviously noticed our visitor too. The door unlatched loudly and Bridget walked in. I started sobbing but I couldn't look at her. She'd seen me through a lot of shit but I reeked and couldn't even imagine what I must look like. I heard Stella squeak lightly and start to cry softly and they were more than I could take.

"Fucking hell Franky!" Bridget nearly screamed at me. "Ms. Miles I need you to go let medical know that we're going to need a bed open... Fuck Franky what have you done!?"She dropped herself to the floor throwing all professional boundaries out the window and held her hand on the cuts on my leg with a strong amount of pressure. I put my head on her shoulder and cried myself into a messy fit. She sobbed with me patting my matted hair. "Gidge I'm so sorry, I couldn't do it anymore! fuck I'm so sorry." She wiped my eyes and toyed with my sweaty hair as we waited for Ms. Smiles to come back. "Shh Baby I know..." I sat up and looked at her touching her cheek. "You need to go check on Stella... She's here too and she needs you... Don't fuck this up because of me Gidge... You're good at what you do." She nodded and got up moving toward the door. I'd never seen her look so hurt, but she knew I was right and she did as I asked...


	37. Chapter 37

I was totally taken back by how she looked. Her skin had lost its light brown luster and looked chalky and drawn in. I listened to her breath waiting to hear her familiar squeaks and see her lips twitch in unison with her smile but she gave me none of that. She was looking thin and tired and our once Top Dog was looking about as stable as I felt... I'd never understood her more than I did in that moment. She watched me watching her and sniffled loudly before pulling at the end of her nose and finally speaking quietly and pointedly. "Red I fucked up... I fucked up bad... I'm rooted and I'm scared I stuffed everything up for Bridget and Stellar too..."

I remembered when this was the other way around. When she came to me in medical and tried hard to talk to me, make sense of everything and I was just trying to move through the motions. I had promised Gidge i'd watch over her, take care of her for awhile before I had to go back to my cell and I was determined to shove the stubborn out of her for even the duration of our visit. I wanted to make her eat something, or at least drink. I poured water into the cup and walked toward her. She turned her face away from me . "No Red please, if I get better in here I'll get released and Gidge will never get to see me..." She scrunched her nose up hard trying to inch herself away from my cup of water on the bed. I teared up looking at her, she was so young and somehow I had never really noticed that. Friendship transcends the difference in age but in that moment she reminded me of Debbie and how determined she was at 14 to stay out of school so she could be with me after I had jaw surgery. I knew what I needed to do. "Okay, okay Franky please just sit up for me." I put my arm behind her shoulders and lifted her lightly.

"Franky, I understand what you're trying to do... and I'm not going to let you do this. Not to yourself, not to me, not to Stella, not to Bridget... Okay? Drink the fuckin water so she can look at you without thinking she's going to break you." She moved her mouth to protest but stopped dead still when we noticed Vera in the doorway peering in. I jumped enough to spill some of the water in her lap. "Shit Red Vinegar Tits is watching you..." I just nodded keeping my eyes on Vera as I lifted the water to Franky's mouth. She pursed her lips hard as it touched her mouth but swallowed obediently. Vera nodded to me before walking away and Bridget walked in closing the door hard behind us. "What the fuck is she playing at..." Franky spattered sending water flying off her lips as she spoke. "I don't know Baby but I promise you I'm going to find out..." Ms. Westfall said softly as she motioned for me to leave the room. For the first time in 3 years I felt a little bit like a mom again and I had my friend back too... I smiled as I went back to my cell ready to sketch for the first time in months...


	38. Chapter 38

"I know you have saved my ass Vera... But guess what, I saved yours too and the truth is you're only keeping me in any kind of position of power because you're scared. You've always been scared of Franky and now that Stella's there too you're terrified they'll over throw your little facade... And they will, or Joan will, either way you're fucked unless you play your cards right. So I sincerely suggest you keep yer mouth shut about me and Franky and let me see my girl and Stella whenver I need to." I hung up the phone abruptly blowing air hard off my lips like Franky would do. I'd never been so mad or treated a governor so unprofessionally but I didn't give a shit anymore. I slurped back my wine hastily and looked around my empty house. I couldn't believe how quiet it was without her... it had been 3 weeks since she was arrested and ended up in medical and she had made little to no improvement. She looked frail and she was so far past depressed I had no idea if she was going to live... All I wanted to do was bring her home and hold her but I didn't think I was ever going to be able to do that again.

I had the best lawyers I could afford working on her case but the fact was there was hard evidence to prove she had murdered her mother. I really didn't have a leg to stand on and the worst part was several girls had come forward and confessed to the brutality that Franky had subjected them to the first time she'd been in prison thinking there was no way she'd survive to end up back in general... I feared for them to be honest. She had so many charges stacked against her and there was so little I could do without bringing myself down with her as an auxiliary to her crimes... I was surprised Joan hadn't sold her out too... That worried me as well... I needed to know what she was playing at. I slammed my glass down hard on the counter watching it shatter into hundreds of pieces at the thought of everything. _Fucking hell Franky what have you done..._

I walked the hallways of my house searching for a piece of her somewhere in the midst of it all. I grabbed her black jacket off the coat rack that she'd wore the day she got her job and draped it around me desperately trying to get her smell all over me. I held on to the thought of her beside me flicking her fingers like she was knocking the end off her cigarette. I pictured her fidgeting in her seat telling me about her day and asking me to tell her about my past two pieces at a time because she constantly wanted to know more about me as long as I didn't pry too much into her. I fabricated our first weeks together in my mind, brought them back to life in front of me so vividly I could feel her jerk against me as we cuddled on the couch in my mind. She was warm and rigid and not bony the way she felt now. I felt tears well up in my eyes knowing this could be the end for us and that she would never be coming home again... _There's no hope..._

I thought about her wet tears on my shoulder and her tongue up and down my neck. I shivered as I recalled how she looked at me each time we had to leave each other and how I never understood why she held on to me like she'd never get that chance again and finally I understood she already knew... I sobbed into her jacket and worried about the future for her and how I was ever going to pull my life together without her in it...


	39. Chapter 39

_**"I clutched your arms like stairway railings, and you clutched my brain and eased my ailing"**_

She crept in slowly opening the locks on the door without hesitation I watched her slip in behind the door dainty and light on her feet. I was barely awake and in nothing but my undies and teal tank top.

"Bridge is that you Bub?" I called to her. She swayed slightly in the dim light of my cell but she didn't speak. _is she drunk?_ "Ms. Westfall is everything okay?" I questioned pointedly knowing that clearly it wasn't. She smelled of wine and tailor-made cigarettes which was odd because I knew she didn't smoke. I stood up and walked toward her pulling her into a hug instinctively and as I promised I took care of her like Franky asked me to do. I looked her in the eyes tracing her cheeks with my fingers and searched her expression to make sure she realized it was Stella she was holding and not Franky.

"Ssss-Stella" she slurred as we brushed bodies together in a tight hug. "What the fuck am I gonna do without her... I can't I can't even breathe." I held her so tightly and patted her hair starting to tear up myself. I had no idea how amazing this woman my sister was so involved with was. I promised Franky I'd take care of her but I was afraid for what exactly that meant to Bridget. Franky was in such a dark place but I wanted to believe they could maintain some sort of relationship but Bridge was right... Franky was pretty much set up to do life without parole...

I pulled her away from my chest to look in her eyes. She looked both relieved and in deep pain as I spoke. "Bridget listen to me, Franky might get out of this okay, she's an amazingly smart woman you know that, and she's not a murderer, not by choice or principle."

"Stella you're wrong... I thought that too but this-this was deliberate... I don't blame her but I can't lie for her anymore."

I was shocked at how much Bridget knew and how coherent she suddenly seemed. I looked out the window in my cell into the darkness gauging the time to be around 3am. _Why are you here Bridge..._ I lead her slowly over to my bed. "Bridget come lay down its late and you need to sober up before you go home." She did as I asked and before I knew it she was curled up like a child in my arms. I rocked my body with hers doing my best not to be aroused by her touch. My fingers instinctively playing at the hairs on her neck I spoke softly to her about any sweet memories of Franky I could think of. I blew air hard off my lips and let it land on her spine she shivered and gripped me like I had somewhere to go. I wanted to cry because I knew everything about it was so wrong but in that moment she felt like mine and I think she wished she was...

I didn't dare close my eyes, I knew I had to let her rest just long enough to straighten her up and send her home before someone found us here. There was no way I was risking her losing her job, her only connection to me and Franky and I promised Franks _I'm not sure this is quite what you meant but I'm trying..._ She tossed lightly in her sleep every time I sniffled or licked my lips but she was smiling in her sleep like the similarity was comforting to her...

I watched the sun start to creep over the horizon and I knew this had to come to an end, I had to wake her up and make her function like the older, accomplished woman I knew her to be. I roused her gently and watched her open her morning eyes fixed hard upon my face. I could barely keep eye contact, looking at her made me feel sick. I wasn't sure if it had to do with me being her lover's twin or if it was just a case of fate but I felt like I'd known her for years and the thought of that was somehow comforting but it made me feel faint. I hugged her with purpose and we didn't say a word as she kissed me gently on the cheek our noses bonking lightly as she slipped out the door just before the sun fully filled my lonely cell. The door slammed shut and I hugged my knees to my chest and sobbed not even caring that my shaking was making my head pound hard on the wall. _I want my dad..._


	40. Chapter 40

**_I'm sorry to everyone's little Fridget heart for how traumatic this journey has been! They will figure it out some how I'm sure, love will find away to reach Franky, she's started to trust._**

Three of them came daily. Red, Boomer and Gidge and had she not been stuck in the slot I reckon Stella woulda too. Three separate people came to my bed side to hold my cold, strikingly veiny hands and give me overwhelming amount of love. I tried desperately to shut them out, unsure of everything that came with the emotions it evoked in me, like if I absorbed any of it than it would get ripped away just as fast. Sure I knew how to give it... I could rub the hurt and tension right out of Gidge's shoulders when she'd had a hard day at work and I could coach Booms on how to deal with telling Maxy she wasn't pregnant just yet and I even knew how to coax Red to move forward with the crush she was so terrified to acknowledge. But the thought of Gidge sitting with me and playing softly with my hair while she tried to understand why I refused to get better was nauseating and I was making her heart hurt I could see it in her eyes but I genuinely didn't know how to work my way around it...

"Franky, Franky open your eyes I need to see you... I need to know you're in there on these days when you won't talk to me." Gidge spoke slow and soft and I fluttered my eyes open to look at her. It hurt me to see her look so solemn and I knew it was entirely my fault. She looked and me and wrinkled her doe-ish face. "Why are you looking at my like that Baby?" She said almost laughing at my expression. I could tell the sudden light in my eyes startled her.

I felt my face flex as I moved my lips side to side and opened my mouth to speak for the first time in nearly 3 days. "I-I mmm " I managed before she moved closer to my face and looked at me deeply and with a sickening amount of compassion. I felt my body tense and I fought the urge to ask her to leave. Then I caught her eyes dead on. Tears welled up beyond my lids. "Franky you have got to tell me what's wrong, what's going on... did I say something?"

"No Gidge." I said matter of factly. She looked at me like she'd seen a ghost but she plodded on. "then what is it Franky? Fuckin hell spare me the run around!" She was frustrated and that made it slightly easier. I could deal with that emotion, I knew it too well... I looked her in the eyes again noting the nearly poetic crows feet she'd formed by her eyes. I laughed nervously and touched her cheek.

"I can see you..." I breathed out.

"I know ." She quietly responded. "Finally."

She grabbed both my hands and held them in hers which looked nearly comical because her hands were so dainty by comparison. For the first time in our relationship I let her hold me like that, moved into her chest fighting the pain I felt physically and emotionally letting myself sit forward and soak up her heart beat. My skin prickled with goosebumps and I blew air hard off my lips and over her shoulders clutching at the comfort of her and graving over her soft lips with my fingers the way I had the very first time we'd touched.

"It's nice to have you back Puss. Thank you." She whispered and instantly I felt uncomfortable, like this wasn't really mine and it was all going to get ripped away again and I knew it would. I was going to get life and rot here and she would be alone for awhile and hurt but then she'd forget , forget me and everything I never really meant to her. I spoke harshly.

"Gidget, I think you should go now." I was cold and unwavering. Her posture dropped as she tried to let go of me but I clutched her for dear life and I had no idea why. My words were such a contradiction to everything else my body was doing and I whimpered as she finally let go closing the door behind her and looking broken. My whimpers became fearful, fretful tears and I knew then I wasn't scared to be loved at all... I was scared for the inevitability of no longer being loved I knew the hurt would come to get me... it always did. I looked at the sterile white ceiling tiles and sobbed so hard my jaw hurt from tensing and flexing with each laboured breath. But at least I was alone, I knew how to deal with that feeling and I found comfort in it...


	41. Chapter 41

I threw off my heels in the doorway and nearly fell to my knees on the door mat in our entry way, _my entry way..._ I turned on the radio as loud as it could go and opened the windows wide letting the breeze flow in around me as I started to sob. I hung in the door way of the fridge debating whether to drink my wine or pour the remainder of Franky's Captain Morgan into a big glass and just drink that. I pictured her in the hospital bed whimpering , her lips firmly shut but quivering as she pointed me to the door and shut me right out of her life. I gripped the fridge for fear I'd fall my heart ached so badly. "Fucking hell Franky!? Why ? Why would you fuck this up so badly... Fuck" I screamed as I poured the rum into my wine glass filling it to the brim. I thrust the door shut and sat on our bed with my rum. All I could think about was how I never did anything after I found out she'd killed Meg Jackson and then again I did nothing after she killed her mother, even though I knew she'd done it calculated, deliberate but I loved her, I still loved her and it was so blinding that all I could think about was bringing her home. I picked up her pillow and breathed in hard trying desperately to fill my nose with any lingering smell she'd left behind . I felt like she'd died and in some twisted way she had.

I sat on her side of the bed clinging to her pillow as I threw back three fast gulps of her rum tears pouring down my face. I tore the bun out of my hair willfully and started thrusting open the drawers in the nightstand beside our bed. I tossed out her keys and her wallet and any piece of her that remained there and I crumbled with it on the floor. I held on tightly to her punch card for work and closed my eyes. I could picture how she looked the night before she left for her first day. She was so nervous and I couldn't have been more proud of her, or her progress. I looked at that beautiful girl I called mine and I kissed her hard on both cheeks: once for luck and twice for love. I was there again and I swore I could feel her wrinkle up her face as my lips brushed her soft, tan skin. I took another hard gulp of rum and sat still on the floor in a nearly meditative state as I tried to remember everything about that night with her.

 _We stood in the garden smoking pot she'd found in my nightstand that I'd had there for 2 years and never touched. I breathed her in more than I inhaled any of the smoke and I felt it fill me with laughter. We spent hours laying under the stars and holding our guts from laughing so hard at each other. It was dark and we were truly only lit by the stars but I felt like I could see her better than I ever had. we'd gotten buzzed to ease the tension for her the night before her life changed and she started her bold new position as a legal assistant but I knew in that moment it was me that needed it more. "Franky you are going to rock this, you know that?" I was so sure of her, knew she was a natural for this and she smiled so deeply and propped herself up on her hands as she stared down at me. "Thanks Gidge, I'm glad yew think so ..." I rubbed her cheeks with my finger tips and pulled her over top of me still holding her face in my hands. I studied her, my concentration so steady and unwavering. I noted her dimples and the way her eyes glittered with the moonlight. She laughed nervously at our un-broken eye contact and when I went to tell her I loved her she silenced me by slipping her tongue into my mouth. I squirmed beneath her my back and inner legs wet from her touch and the dew on the grass. Our conversation went from verbal to physical in less than thirty seconds and I read her body language, listened to everything she said without moving her lips. We'd been together so many nights, so many mornings and everything n between on the counters, the bed, the shower... but something about how determined and focused she was that night gripped me hard. I let her work her tongue and fingers over me far more gentle than she ever had before like she too was soaking up the moment._

 _I rolled her over in one quick motion so for the first time it was her pinned on her back beneath me. She breathed out hard against my chest and I heard her whisper "Fuck , hello Gidget." I shhed her with my fingers shakily placed over her mouth and tore her green plaid dress shirt off with my teeth. It felt so completely backwards and out of rhythm but I didn't care and she was letting me so I went for it. She shuddered every time I held her still with the pressure of my body. We kissed abruptly tugging off each others lips every time they parted and I swear I could feel every part of her move with me like my buzz had heightened my experience enough to viscerally respond to every twitch of hers._

 _I leaned in to kiss her but decided to be gentle and butterfly kissed her instead. She laughed and seemed to take that as me relinquishing control because she grabbed both of my wrists and pushed me off of her as hard as she could. I hit the ground hard and for a moment my back stung with the tree roots beneath me. I looked her deeply in the eyes and she let go of me..._

I finished off my wine glass of rum wiping my mouth and eyes and remembered where I was. Still holding her pillow on the floor I dialed Vera knowing that in some sick way she was the only person who was going to remotely understand where I was at and be willing to drop by and see me. I hung up the phone and waited in the dark for her to come and pick up some of my pieces my mind and nose still filled with Franky's smell and every bit of how she looked that night...


	42. Chapter 42

I started counselling sessions with Bridget despite the conflict of interest that no one in administration seemed to want to address... While I was still in the slot. I was wore down and desperately in need of her wisdom but she was so weary herself and the sexual and emotional tension between us was so thick I swear I could taste it. But I trusted her, and she understood me on a deep level; like, I'd know her for years...

I sat stiffly in my chair and watched her watching me, like every movement I made haunted her but made her heart flutter just the same. She played with her pen as she asked me strangely rehearsed questions. We caught each other in electric glances from time to time, but mostly I just stared at my hands folded on my lap and chewed at my inner lip.

"Stella I want to talk about your mum, what she meant to you and these walls you seem to have built up around you . Can we do that?" I sat ridged and uncomfortable blowing hair off my face and continuing to chew my lip but I nodded . " Yeh , I guess. What d'ya want to know?"

We spent over two hours talking about mine and Franky's childhood up to the point we were separated. I was collected, measured and calm in my responses which seemed to stress Bridget out. She watched my face which caused me to blink repeatedly as I tried to follow her eyes . She was searching me, expecting my responses to be different, predictable and the fact that they weren't clearly un-nerved her. We continued up until the part of my story that she became a part of and I no longer had anything to share.

I paid attention to the way she clicked her pen and how she watched every little movement I made with my hands and my face. It should have made me uncomfortable but I just knew she was watching me with admiration. I watched her lips move in and out as she spoke to me softly I loved the way my name fell off her lips so much that despite my respect for my sister I ached to kiss her.

I stood up and moved toward her slowly, calculated and counting my steps. She watched me looking concerned but she said nothing until I was directly in front of her.

"Stella.. what are you..." I cut her off with my own lips. I grasped her dress shirt in my right fist pulling her into me with her kiss. I'd watched Franky kiss her too, I knew she went right for her lips so I was determined to kiss her like she hadn't been kissed. I pressed my lips hard against her neck suddenly very aware of how chapped they were. I sunk my front teeth into her pulse point and watched her arc in her chair. The pen she'd been clicking hit the ground and I could have sworn the sound reverberated off the floor for forever while I held her neck in my teeth. She was soft and she smelled like honey as I worked my tongue up to her ears. She let me be checking the clock and door nearly every 30 seconds but saying nothing, reduced to breathy confessions and shaky knees.

She gently shut the shades on the door window with her left hand and I worked my way into her lap. I held her face in my hands and played willfully at her bottom lip with my fingers. She took me in for forever before she finally met my eyes and started to touch me back.

"Bridget its okay..." I whispered softly against her neck. She threw her hands behind her and I pushed her chair so it was even with the wall. I had such a jitter in my body as I watched her respond to her concern with being caught. She darted her eyes behind her repeatedly but always rolled them back to me. I held her wrists hard against the green walls firm and un-moving as though I was making an arrest.

I danced my fingers in between her thighs until they were under her pencil skirt. I took her in, holding onto the smell of her chest and the steady beat of her heart. I breathed in her excitement as I drummed my fingers across the surface of her undies. She sighed loudly despite me "shhhing" her with every sway of my finger tips. Her voice grew steadily louder as I moved my fingers quickly and she tousled my hair roughly. I stood up so her eyes were level with my chest and covered her mouth with a cuffed hand not daring to move the other one from between her legs as she squeezed my palm tight and writhed with my movements.

I watched her eyes widen, she looked terrified and I let go. I let go of her shirt and I pulled my fingers out from under her skirt abruptly. "Franky wait, don't..."

I furrowed my brow and looked her in the eyes. "Bridget it's Stella, Franky is in medical remember? I thought..." I stepped away from her until I was nearly against the opposite wall and I watched her slowly fade from Bridget to Micheal. I could see him gasping for breath all over again and all I could do was sob for him for the hundredth time since he died. I held myself as close to the cold walls as I could shrieking and sweating at the sight of him cold and un-moving. I could hear monitors beeping in rhythm with the absence of his heart beat. I threw my hands above my head and yelled so hard I swore my chest would tear open and the walls smelled like hospital. I knew I was dreaming the moment Bridget faded away but there was nothing I could do to stop it ut let it play out. I could feel myself sobbing but I couldn't will my eyes to open no matter how badly I wished they would. I tossed back and forth hearing his parents crying, hearing myself cry and I made the sign of the cross on my lips and chest hoping for my God to get me out of this mess though i knew I hadn't prayed since I was ten... I counted my breaths like Franky had taught me to do when I was little with night terrors... I pictured puppies in jelly and wished she was there to hold my hand like she used to... And then my eyes fluttered open and I could hear her, sitting up in her bed and looking at me with concern.

"What the fuck happened Stell?" I let every bit of air out of my lungs till I swore my chest would fall flat and smiled ear to ear when I realized I was in the bed beside her in medical.

"This place will fuck with yer 'ead Stell, you have no fucking idea..." She was so solemn as she watched me beside her but all I could do was smile. I was nearly giggling I was so happy that everything had been a dream... At least, this time.


	43. Chapter 43

"Are you kidding me? Of course I'm concerned. It is enough of a worry to release Franky back into general after everything that went down the first time let alone at the same time as Stella who has already proven to be a challenge ... "

Vera's voice boomed my name through the closed doors as heavily as her tiny structure could muster and I chewed my lip sitting at the edge of Stella's bed. I stared at the walls trying desperately to figure out exactly how to approach our return to general. "mmph" I heard myself mutter loudly as I got up and paced the edge of the bed. I stared coldly through the glass at Vera and considered how the girls were going to react. Their responses to me having a twin were going to be interesting enough let alone to being back at Wentworth. I suspected a large portion of the girls had already figured out who Stella was , it wasn't hard to see how much she looked, moved and talked like me...

"Franky?"

"oooo geeze Stell ya scared tha fuck outta me! What? You okay." I walked slowly back across the room to her bed where she was sitting up doe-eyed, still rather heavily drugged. She cleared her throat and played with her lip between her thumb and fore-finger thinking about how to respond to me. "Okay, uh... I'm excited to be back in general, and I think as crazy as I think Vera is for putting us together that it will be nice having you around, not so... isolating. B-but..." She stammered and halted her conversation before looking off toward the corner of the room.

"But...? What's up bub?" I furrowed my brows hard and put my hand on her shoulder trying to draw her spaced out eyes in with mine. She shook her head as though she was trying to knock out PTSD flashbacks, which quite honestly she likely was but I tried not to think about it as deliberate and hoped she just needed to shake everything she'd been holding onto off.

"I'm going to miss the sedatives Franky, the steady, constant influx of sedation high... Tha's the sad truth. I know you hate to hear that but, but I refuse to lie to yeh and between you and Bea, I'm doubtful I will have access to any of the drugs you traffic. Which is good, but bad. Bad if I cared, which I doynt but... I dunno."

I felt my body prickle with anger. I looked at Stella and all I could think about was Tess, and how desperately I didn't want her to carry on our family addictions... Maybe she wouldn't, I mean she was only dad's not mum's but... If she had a future that looked anything like ours had, it wouldn't fucking matter... I pictured her sweet little face and I looked to Stella feeling empty...

I punched the wall hard before standing back at the foot of Stella's bed. I writhed my sore knuckles in and out of my uninjured hand, my mouth tasted metallic and I realized I'd bitten my lip. "Whatever Stella, fucking do what ya want I'll stay outta your way but it best not come back on me..." She looked completely confused but before I could say anything more Bridget had opened the door loudly letting Vera in to escort us out to "H block". We walked the halls slowly and obediently and my mind raced with everything I had planned...


End file.
